My boy is home...

Tyler came home not last weekend, but theweekend before. The girls missed him, but it was worse for Daija because she is so little and she got all confused. In her mind, the only daddy is her daddy... so when she would ask Tyler where he was and he said he was at his dad's house... next thing you know she's asking Ro 'Do you have my Tyler?'. So we try to clarify which Daddy Tyler is with... then every time she talked to Ro, she asked him, 'You my daddy?' Anyway, it was a fun homecoming. When Tyler left, my sister's old room at the front of the house had become a catch-all storage dump. When he came home, it was painted and decorated with a galaxy theme, and furnished with a futon we'd been storing, the book case that used to store community toys in the hallway, and his rug, table, NASA posters, and other special momentos. Driving home from the airport (around 3:30AM Saturday morning, no less) I asked if he was really tired and he said 'only a little bit.' I told him I'd left his birthday present in the spare room and he could go check it out for a minute before he went to bed.The first thing he noticed was the ceiling walls and the furniture...but then he looked down at the rug from his room, and around at his posters and saw the picture of he and his dad and his Buddha... Oh, you just should have seen his little brain clicking. His eyes were just darting around and then he turns to me and breathes... 'What is this place? Is this MY new room?' I'm still touching up trim - I'll send pictures when I'm finished.

ATSB Approves Proposed AWA/US Airways Merger

PHOENIX, July 22, 2005 /PRNewswire-FirstCall via COMTEX/ -- America West Holdings Corporation (NYSE: AWA) and US Airways Group, Inc. (OTC Bulletin Board: UAIRQ) today announced that they have received approval for their planned merger from the Air Transportation Stabilization Board (ATSB). Both America West Airlines and US Airways hold loans backed by a federal guarantee from the ATSB. The carriers have been in negotiations on the treatment of those loans under their proposed merger. Pending final bankruptcy court and US Airways board approval and upon close of the merger, the two airlines' outstanding ATSB loan guarantees will be consolidated with payments beginning September 2005 through September 2010. Final terms are still being negotiated.
(Logo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20050223/LAW097LOGO)
America West Chairman and CEO Doug Parker stated, "We are grateful for the Board's unanimous endorsement of our proposed merger with US Airways. Today's announcement continues the positive momentum for our planned merger and brings us one step closer to building a stable future for our airlines."
"We appreciate the ATSB working closely with us to further our efforts to restructure US Airways and preserve jobs while protecting the federal government's interests. Their action today will enable the new US Airways to become a stronger and more viable airline," said US Airways President and Chief Executive Officer Bruce R. Lakefield.
In January 2002, America West Airlines, Inc. closed a $429 million loan backed by a $380 million federal loan guarantee provided by the ATSB. The current outstanding balance on this loan is $300 million. US Airways, Inc. received a $900 million loan guarantee under the Air Transportation Safety and System Stabilization Act from the ATSB in connection with a $1 billion term loan financing that was funded on March 31, 2003. The current outstanding balance of that airline's loan is $708 million.
America West Holdings Corporation is an aviation and travel services company. Wholly owned subsidiary America West Airlines is the nation's second largest low-fare carrier with 14,000 employees serving approximately 60,000 customers a day in more than 90 destinations in the U.S., Canada, Mexico and Costa Rica.
US Airways is the nation's seventh-largest airline, serving 181 communities in the U.S., Canada, Europe, the Caribbean and Latin America. US Airways, US Airways Shuttle and the US Airways Express partner carriers operate approximately 3,400 flights per day. (AWAG)

No competing bids proposed for US Airways

No other offers were submitted for US Airways before the July 1 deadline, Bloomberg News reported. The airline has agreed to merge with America West Airlines. The deal still needs approval from creditors and a bankruptcy court.

US Airways submits reorganization plan centered on merger

US Airways submitted its reorganization plan to a federal bankruptcy court Thursday. Submitting the plan is one of the last steps the airline must take toward emerging from bankruptcy protection. The plan involves the airline's proposed merger with America West Airlines, which would create a large, low-cost carrier.

AmWest-US Air merger's details revealed

SEC filing features items of note for investors
Dawn Gilbertson
The Arizona Republic
Jun. 29, 2005 12:00 AM

America West Airlines and US Airways weren't formally engaged until last month, but the pair began flirting well over a year ago.The long-distance courtship began in February 2004, according to new merger documents filed Tuesday with securities regulators. It was a case of opposites attracting: America West was strong on the West Coast, US Airways on the East. The airlines broke up last summer over money differences (US Airways' expenses were too high) but by the end of the year were talking about getting back together because US Airways was in better shape. They did, in January, and cemented the relationship with a merger announcement on May 19. The new airline will be based in Tempe but called US Airways. The background of the initially hush-hush merger talks was among a host of disclosures in a 386-page legal document the two companies filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission. There were no blockbuster revelations involving board dissent over the merger or competing offers or rich insider deals. One airline analyst called the document standard. Still, there were some noteworthy disclosures for shareholders to mull over as they decide whether to approve the merger later this summer:

Merger faces many risks, filing says:

Risks to the merger of US Airways and America West Airlines include the integration of corporate culture and high fuel prices, the carriers said in a regulatory filing. The merger still needs approval from a bankruptcy court and creditors.

Bad vaccine sickens 216 children

BEIJING - More than 200 Chinese children became sick and one child died after
being given an unauthorized Hepatitis A vaccine, the government said Tuesday.

Report: America West faces no serious rivals for US Airways

Just one person has publicly expressed interest in bidding this week for US Airways, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported. Bids, which would rival a merger proposed by America West Airlines, are due this week. The lone bidder, Sallijo Freeman, is an Atlanta woman who says she represents an overseas investment group. The bankruptcy judge will evaluate all bids and decide on July 7; observers do not expect America West's bid to be seriously challenged.

US DOJ clears USAir/America West merger

By John Crawley
Updated: 7:41 p.m. ET June 23, 2005
WASHINGTON - U.S. anti-trust enforcers cleared the proposed merger between bankrupt US Airways and America West Airlines , saying it would be good for consumers, the Justice Department said Thursday.

America West’s CEO faces test in takeover

Doug Parker plots survival of airline in US Airways merger


The Associated Press
Updated: 4:45 p.m. ET June 17, 2005

TEMPE, Ariz. - Eleven days after taking over as chief executive of America West Airlines in September 2001, Doug Parker had to abruptly shift his focus from improving the carrier’s poor reputation among customers to fighting for its survival.

Daija wants the moon...

Last night I was reading with Daija, and after a few rounds of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom she got out another favorite... Grandfather Twilight. I read it to her once and then she flipped through a few pages. On the last page, the dog and cat pictured in the story are curled up asleep. She said to them 'Good night... I love you...' then kissed them/the book. When I read it to her again, on the first page you see the door to Grandfather Twilight's house in the trees, and she reached over and put her fist on it. I asked her if she was knocking, and then she knocked. I ask her sometimes if she can identify objects (where is the moon, where is the cat), after she pointed out to me 'him glasses' a couple months ago (there is a picture where the book he's reading at the beginning of the story is placed on a table with the glasses he was wearing on top). So anyway, instead of asking her to identify objects, I asked her on the next page, what G.T. was doing, expecting her to say something about him reading. She answered 'him sit chair' and so I asked 'What is he doing in the chair?' and she said 'him read story' babble babble 'him cat' (cat was curled up on the back of the chair). In the next two pages G.T. unlocks a chest and takes out a pearl, and she told me 'him lock' ' him keys' and 'him open.' Then the story continues without words and he walks through the forest to the beach, with this pearl growing each step. He releases it into the sky above the water. At this page, Daija reached out and pretended to snatch the big pearl from the sky and said 'gimme my moon.' I asked her if she wanted the moon, and she pretended to snatch it again and claimed it as 'her' moon. Then the story shows G.T. walking home, and when he approaches his house in the trees, Daija reaches out her fist again, and I realize that she was not knocking... she's pretending to open the door. She is developing such an imagination!

Quandary: 2005-2006 School Year

The gifted coordinator tested Halle about two weeks ago, and she scored 98+ percentile on the Ravens. Our district uses the Ravens test because it's non-verbal and less biased than most other IQ tests. The highest percentileranking is the 98th percentile, so if a child does better than that, they can't get a score of the 99th percentile... they are said to have scored 98+. Tyler took this test when he was six years, 4/5 months and in the first grade, third month? I think, and scored (pre-meds, mind you) in the 92nd percentile. Halle is 5 years, 9 months, and just finishing kinder. I had expected her to do well, but I really hadn't expected her to ceiling the test. The gifted coordinator told me she doesn't know what to do for Halle next year and suggested she and I meet with the principal. I sent the principal an email last Wednesday requesting a meeting but haven't received a response. To be honest, I don't have very high hopes of an acceptable placement. Out of the four 1st grade classes, one is a bilingual classroom (and the teacher is retiring) and one is ESL. In the two traditional classrooms, one teacher took a administrative job at another school, so there is a sub and no permanent replacement as of yet. And in August I witnessed the teacher of the other 'regular' classroom 'disciplining' two or three little boys who were being sent to lunch detention and I was really bothered by her tone and body language... as well as her volume. I didn't hear every word she said, but far more than I think I should have heard given the distance between where they were and where I was standing. I would not be comfortable working with her because that incident would always be in the back of my mind and I would always be concerned about her addressing Halle that way. And if Halle is bored now, I can't see how she'll be challenged in a bilingual or ESL classroom. Tyler was in a bilingual classroom for first grade and I felt he grew so little as a student in that environment.

Last Wednesday I also visited one of the charter schools I mentioned last month - based on what I've read at their web site it seemed to offer the most of what I would be looking for. I toured with the school's community relations person, and was really impressed with the philosophy and that the school had the student's work displayed everywhere, bio's of all the existing teachers. The staff is very diverse, which is important to our family. There are a handful of staff members who are Muslim and from the middle east (three from Turkey), one is Jewish, and another is from Venezuela... and then there is a teacher from Kansas, which from personal experience is really almost like it's own little country (or planet). They incorporate character development into their curriculum. They use Saxon Math, and let the kids go as far with it as they can. Their sixth grade students are doing calculus. No classes more than 24 students. They do math placement tests for all incoming students... with beginner/intermediate/advanced levels in each class, and offer free tutoring to get kids who are behind at grade level and to give extra attention to kids who are needing extra challenge. They have a mentor program, also free of charge.

After the visit I was thinking about it a lot more seriously. That same night, I went to the 'open house' at Julian, where Tyler is supposed to go for fourth grade. I was hoping to meet the teacher and discuss their math curriculum. I had looked at Julian's report card, and the AIMS %ile is in the teens for both 5th and 8th grade last year, and just 3 years ago was less than 10. I was further concerned to read the following, which was listed as an achievement for the 03-04 school year:

70 students in the RSD tested into Honors Algebra on the Phoenix Union School
District Math placement test. Of those, 12 were from Julian. Nine of those 12
were not enrolled in the gifted program and three of the 12 tested for placement
in Geometry.

I think this is great for the nine students from traditional classrooms, but I find it alarming that only 25% of the students were gifted. Not that there should have been fewer 'traditional' students, but that I would certainly expect for a gifted program at a school that feeds into a high school with an Aerospace Magnate, to have at least as many gifted as non gifted students achieve placement into honors math. This furthers my concern that the math curriculum for the gifted classrooms is not accelerated.

Well, the event was basically a band showcase where there was not a dedicated opportunity to meet the gifted teachers, and that it had already been performed at King Tyler had already seen the entire performance. I was even further disappointed to learn that there would not be any kind of open house for the gifted program or in general for transitioning third graders and their parents. I attempted to speak with the gifted teacher for 4th grade, and inquired about the math curriculum. She asked if I wanted to know what my child needed to know for fourth grade. I clarified that I was asking what differentiated the gifted curriculum from the traditional curriculum. I was told that there wasn't really any difference, she just usually finishes the book (I guess the other class doesn't?) I then asked what concepts she would be covering and was told that there would be a lot of review because the incoming fourth graders wouldn't be up to par in math. She assured me that this was a district wide problem and included the students coming over from King's gifted program. The other teacher (whose name I didn't catch but she may be the 'math chair') seemed to concur. Based on feedback I've gotten from multiple educators about my son's math skills, and considering that King's 3rd grade math AIMs rankings are twice that of Julian's 5th grade math rankings, I was pretty skeptical of that claim, and downright dismayed at this clear expectation/culture of mediocrity. As I pondered the futility of asking what would be done to challenge students who were not needing remediation or who excelled she invited me to visit her during her planning period at 2:15. We discussed my work schedule, she indicated she was usually on campus until five and perhaps I could come by then. I was about to suggest perhaps a conference call, when she wandered away from the conversation without excusing herself, and never returned. The other teacher remained and indicated that there would be an open house about a week before school starts. I told her very candidly that I had reservations about my son attending school there and that their math program, while the largest concern, was only one of them, and I was not comfortable waiting until school was about to begin to address them. I mentioned the excerpt I quoted above from their scorecard and expressed my concern about the complexity of the curriculum and asked why more gifted students hadn't placed into honors math. She appeared surprised, as though the disparity in the numbers hadn't occurred to her, and suggested that was a good question and one that might be good to ask the 8th grade math teacher. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Preparing students for an 8th grade honors placement exam is not the sole responsibility of the 8th grade math curriculum, it begins when the child enters the school, as each grade builds the foundation for the next. I don't want to hear what is being done to prepare kids in the 11th inning! I pictured posing that question to whoever teaches 8th grade and being told that the seventh graders weren't prepared... and then that the sixth graders weren't prepared, and so on until I reached Ms. Dunn to hear that the third graders are not prepared. The phrase 'passing the buck' rang through my mind. The next morning I inquired with Tyler's current teacher specifically about his math skills, and whether a) I should anticipate that he will need remediation for fourth grade math or b) that he will languish in a classroom where most of his peers need remediation. She assured me that she felt Tyler's math skills were above par and he is well prepared for fourth grade math. She says she has never gotten any feedback indicating her students were unprepared, and that she watches their test scores and that her students have done very well in math. The teacher also indicated that she keeps in touch with several students who have gone on to Julian and has specifically inquired if there was anything that they were struggling with and that none of them have indicated having trouble with the math curriculum.

I've talked to both Joel and Ro about the school situation, and they're both open to the change. I have a few more questions for the school and I should probably visit at least one of the other schools that looked like possibilities to get a comparison. But at this point it's pretty likely the kids will be going somewhere else for school next year.

A special lunch for Halle...

Here's a cute story that a friend of mine who works for the school district sent me about Halle... Halle wasn't permitted to go on a field trip (I have no idea why, and since Halle didn't seem to care I didn't even bother to ask, I know I wouldn't have liked the answer) so our friend decided to take Halle a surprise lunch...

This morning, I went to the cafeteria and asked Ms. Cafeteria if students were allowed to bring outside food to lunch. She said yes, so I told her Halle wouldn't eat the cafeteria's meal today. She said Halle'd already paid, so she's have a credit for the next day. I also told Halle I'd bring her lunch. Well, when I got to the cafeteria with the McD's, Halle had a lunch tray. Ms. Cafeteria said Halle insisted on getting a lunch. Halle said something like this, "I paid you a dollar fifty this morning for my lunch, so I'm getting a tray. I don't think my mom's is gonna bring me a lunch because if she was, she wouldn't've given me a dollar fifty for lunch." Both Ms. Cafeteria AND her classmate tried to explain it to her, but she was insistant. LOL!! See, that would've upset the average adult as Halle being impudent (sp?), when in reality Halle's reasoning is perfectly logical.

A moment of silence...

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went
unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at
age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in.... And then the trouble started.

it's OK to laugh, you know it's funny.

AmWest, US Airways to merge

Of course this is by no means final, but it looks like we're moving ahead on this. A couple people have expressed concern for me and my job... my mama wanted to know if I'd have to move to DC. Right now I'm not worried about my job, or needing to relocate anytime soon. While the merger plan is official, the current plan doesn't have the airline fully integrating until 2008, and that's if all the powers that be approve everything that needs approving.

AmWest, US Airways to merge
Dawn Gilbertson
The Arizona
Republic
May. 19, 2005 02:20 PM

After weeks of nonstop speculation about their hush-hush marriage talks, America West Airlines and US Airways became officially engaged today, seeking to create the nation's fifth largest airline.

The two major carriers this afternoon said they plan to merge in a complex, $1.5 billion deal that will have the new airline based in Tempe but flying under the US Airways banner. America West Chairman and CEO Doug Parker will run the airline, which will have hubs on both coasts and a route map spanning the world.

No details were provided on the impact on employees or flights at either airline, but the companies said the airlines will operate separately for two to three years.

The backers of the deal many thought would never get off the ground financially include the parent of Air Canada, Boston-based investment firm PAR Capital Management, regional carrier Air Wisconsin and industry players Airbus and General Electric.

In their first public comments about the motivation for the deal, Parker and US Airways CEO Bruce Lakefield said the deal will create the first full-service nationwide low-cost, low-fare airline.

"Through this combination we are seizing the opportunity to strengthen our business rather than waiting for the industry environment to improve," said the written statement.

More details are expected in a media conference call and news conference at the Airline's Tempe headquarters. America West's stock, which was beaten up after word of the merger talks leaked, rose sharply today in expectation of announcement. The stock closed at $4.81, up 8.6 percent from Wednesday's close. After hours trading was halted pending the news.

For Phoenix, the merger would mean a national, homegrown brand falls off an
already short list of marquee names in business. But the area gains a much larger corporate headquarters, in terms of prestige, total employees and other measures. Based on last year's revenue of $9.4 billion for the combined company, the new US Airways would rank as Arizona's second-largest publicly company, after Fortune 500 electronics distributor Avnet Inc.

The deal is by no means done. There are a host of approvals to get, including the federal Air Transportation Stabilization Board, which loaned both airlines money after Sept. 11 and is still owed nearly $1 billion from the two; U.S. Airways' bankruptcy judge; federal regulators and shareholders.

There was skepticism from Wall Street, competitors and others as soon as word of the merger talks leaked last month, and the scrutiny is only expected to intensify now that some specifics are on the table. Analysts worry about the wisdom of combining two financially weak carriers during an industry crisis that is expected to produce $5 billion in losses this year.

The president of Southwest Airlines has said the CEOs of the two airlines must be on drugs to contemplate a merger in this horrible airline environment.

David Neeleman, CEO of discounter JetBlue Airways, the only other profitable airline besides Southwest, joked at an aviation conference last month in Phoenix that Parker has started drinking his own Kool-Aid. That was a reference to Parker's repeated comments over the past year that the industry was ripe for consolidation.

The merger will form the centerpice of US Airways' reorganization plan. The airline filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last fall, a year after it emerged from its first Chapter 11 reorganization.

The combined company has nearly 38,000 employees, though it's unlikely the count will stay that high due to duplicate headquarters staff and the plan for fewer aircraft than the 419 jets they operate now in total.

Many observers expect the thorniest issue to be integrating the carrier's union workforces. Seniority rules at unions, and US Airways workers have much more than those at significantly younger America West. At America West's annual shareholders meeting Tuesday, America West union representatives grilled Parker about whether their jobs will be safe in a merger. Parker has said only that he wouldn't do a deal that jeopardize the he hard work America West's employees.

By any measure, America West is combining with a much larger carrier. US Airways'
sales last year were triple America West's, at $7.1 billion. The two rank 7th and 8th in passenger traffic, but the gap is wide: 40.5 million revenue passenger miles versus 23.3 million. They rank sixth and eighth in passenger boardings, but US Airway's passenger count is double America West's, at 42 million.

Reach the reporter at dawn.gilbertson@arizonarepublic.com or 602-444-8617

AmWest deal looming

Dawn GilbertsonThe Arizona RepublicMay. 18, 2005 09:48 PM

Signals were mixed Wednesday on whether America West Airlines and US Airways will announce their merger today as planned.

But there was a clear sign an announcement could be imminent: US Airways CEO Bruce Lakefield was booked on an early morning flight to Phoenix.

Lakefield, who has led the bankrupt carrier since April 2004, is due into Sky Harbor International Airport this morning on an America West flight, sources familiar with his travel plans say. His reservation calls for a one-day stay with a departure late tonight.

The merger discussions largely have taken place in Washington, D.C., so his expected presence in Arizona today is notable. Assuming his travel plans didn't change overnight, Lakefield will arrive as America West's board of directors is meeting. The board has to approve any proposed transaction. US Airways board met on Wednesday.

New name for a new airline?

America West, US Airways may get new name: If US Airways and America West Airlines merge, officials will choose a name for the combined airline. One marketing expert suggested rebranding the combined airline because of recent customer service snafus at US Airways and limited recognition for the America West brand, the Arizona Republic reports. The Arizona Republic (Phoenix) (5/18)

America West, US Airways may announce merger today, report says

America West and US Airways have secured a vital loan from jetmaker Airbus and may announce merger plans as early as today, the Wall Street Journal reports, quoting unnamed sources. Meanwhile, the chairman of US Airways said the talks between the two carriers are not likely to collapse. The Wall Street Journal (subscription required) (5/19), The Charlotte Observer (N.C.) (free registration) (5/19)

Real ID

Doesn't this look fabulous and exciting and well worth all the money it's going to cost to implement...

Survival of US Airways depends on merger with America West

The survival of US Airways depends on whether it will merge with America West Airlines, the Washington Post reports. One unnamed executive said the carrier does not have many options outside of a merger. The two airlines may reach a merger agreement later this week, according to media reports.

AmWest, US Air deal likely soon

Weeks of speculation about an America West Airlines-US Airways merger should give way to straight facts this week, with a formal announcement of the deal tentatively set for Thursday.

http://www.azcentral.com/business/articles/0516amwest16.html

vent...

Tyler has been sneaking the sweet snacks - pudding, cookies, candy. He has permission if he gets hungry at night or at off-meal times to help himself to a cheese stick, nuts, or fruit, but I keep finding wrappers from the other stuff in his room. He had gotten better about fessing up, but the sneaking sweets happens 1-2 times per week, and he lies to cover it up 1-3 times a month. What I've found is helpful, is when I *know* he did it, is to minimize the opportunity for him to lie. I will ask him to tell me what happened with 'xyz', and if I can see he's about to open up his mouth and lie, I tell him to stop and think before he answers. I explain that I already know such n such happened, and I want him to explain it to me. Impulsive lying is really common in ADHD kids... a lot of times a lie will pop out of their mouths before they even realize it. And I've found with that approach, he will usually stop and think and candidly give me the truth. But it's these situations where I'm not sure which of the older two did something, that is a problem. I feel like I'm an interrogator at a Nazi camp or something. And I feel like the sneaking sweets is happening more often, because I'm making their lunches and have more sweet stuff in the house than I normally would. I bought a bunch of snack pack cookies, and I split them up between the kids, with each getting 1/2 cookies in their lunch as a treat. Sunday, he got a six pack of Oreo cookies and ate them all while I was in the shower. I had already given Daija 2 oreos, and had planned to let Halle & Tyler each have a couple after Halle and I were done showering. So I go to grab the cookies, and because I had just gotten some for Daija, I notice a pack is missing. I ask who did it and my ex's son came into the kitchen and looked right in my face and told me he didn't do it, because he knows what happens when he steals. Told me this again, when Halle came into the room, and didn't admit it until I said there would be no lunch until I got an answer. I was so furious that he had so boldly offered his lie up about how he knows better than to steal... he got a spanking with a belt for maybe the second time in his life. I told him I hoped he had enjoyed his lunch, and made him go without the McD's we were on our way out to get. He whined the ENTIRE afternoon about how hungry he was. Sent him to the bathroom (another vent, more on that later) while I checked out at Wal-mart and I grabbed three packages of fruit snacks, and I find him with a piece of gum he picked up OFF THE FLOOR in his mouth. I made him spit it out, lectured him on hygiene, and made him wait until after we had finished at the next store and he had behaved in an appropriate manner. Later at home, I come from the back of the house to see Tyler dump what's left of Daija's bag into his hand and shove them in his pocket. I couldn't believe it. I spanked him again, which obviously didn't solve the problem the first time but I am just at a loss as to what to do.

I was having some issues with both of the kids, just being whiny and not wanting to pick up after themselves and walking around with this air of entitlement and OMG they were fighting CONSTANTLY, till I couldn't even stand to be around them. I sat each of them down and 'splained the difference between a right and a privilege, and that privileges had to be earned. We went to a point system, based on chores, behavior, attitude, etc and they had to buy TV, Playstation, etc. I really felt like it was helping. The whining and arguing went down, they were getting their chores done and being better sports. They were also spending much less time watching TV and more time playing with each other and by themselves. Obviously, sitting down and discussing all this every night and having them give me their input on their 'score' takes up a lot time, so I want to get away from that and just have them understand that they have to take care of business first, then they can have whatever privileges they want. I am trying to think of a way to give them an allowance without it being tied directly to chores... but anyway, now I'm just really frustrated that we seem to be backsliding. They bickered all weekend, and Tyler whined incessantly, and acted like a brat a good part of the time we were in public.

America West swings to profit in first quarter

Results include gain on fuel hedging transactions


The Associated Press
Updated: 11:28 a.m. ET April 20, 2005

PHOENIX - America West Holdings Corp., whose flagship carrier is in merger talks with US Airways Group Inc., said Wednesday it swung to a profit in the latest first quarter from a year-ago loss.

"c" is for...

I am actually thinking about charter school, for both kids. I'm just not hearing great things about the gifted program past third grade/over at Julian. I'm not entirely comfortable with charter schools, there are too many that are run as bad or worse than the public schools. There is an awesome one in Ahwatukee that my friends have their older boys in, but it's the wrong way for me to be driving. But, I know that a few of the excelling and highly performing schools are charters, so I am starting the search. There are three or four that are reasonable, travel wise, that look worth checking out.

I think Halle does want a challenge/would work if it was something she found interesting or was more under her control. She (independently) was working on these sheets she got somewhere... on each line there was a letter of the alphabet, and the rest of the line was blank. She was filling in a word that started with that letter. She got to 'c' and asked me...

Mommy, how do you spell cockroach?

A normal kid would just write cat. Hell, Tyler would have just written cat. Ro said... couldn't she just write cat? I asked a coworker, what would you write? and my 30yo coworker, SAID CAT. I don't think Halle has ever so much as SEEN a cockroach. That's one of the things that frustrates me most... at home, she carries around paper and pencil and book just as often as she carries around her Barbie's. She will get a book and read independently with no instruction from me, and Tyler still doesn't even do that. He reads 'for pleasure' pretty much only when I tell him to. I think Halle is the kind of kid who would do really well in a home school setting.

First Grade....

Well, I've got myself a pickle. This quarter we are right back to Halle not wanting to do anything. She says the morning message is boring. She wants to write something else, something harder, something 'like this, see, I don't know this word' as she waves a book around. She writes at home, little notes to the rest of us and copies out of books. Mrs. BAG says she doesn't really volunteer to read aloud at school, but she reads for me at home and reads independently at home as well. .'I don't even know what one hundred plus one hundred thousand thirty six is,' she tells me. Right now she's in the 'apple group' and she has pretty tough spelling words for a kindergartener. She's had a couple doozies like cooperative and significant. She gets 100's on almost every spelling test, whether she brings the words home and studies or not. Last week was actually the first time she's had any trouble, and she had words like blanket and number where the combos are weird and the 'et' sounds to her like 'it'. So, after talking several times with Halle and with Mrs. BAG and just feeling at a loss I called Karen Eger. I explained all this to her, and she said she thought it might be a good idea to go ahead and evaluate her, and that could probably be done early May. She said there may not be much that could be done this year, but that her bigger concern would be next year, which is also my concern. I relayed this to Mrs. BAG, and that I am really worried what's going to happen if Halle gets a teacher next year that teaches to the middle or low end of the spectrum. Mrs. BAG told me that at King, her opinion is that all the current 1st grade classrooms are geared middle/low, and that she wouldn't even know who to send Halle too. I asked a friend who taught at the school until recently, and she gave the same opinion. That really freaked me out... I am ready to pull my hair out now trying to motivate Halle, and Mrs. BAG definitely teaches to the top.

The good news, is that Mrs. BAG moved Halle right up to the front of the classroom and Halle commented she can see better (so we'll be seeing the eye dr. soon), and I'm giving her a sticker for her calendar at home for every morning message she brings home where Mrs. BAG has written ok/good job/etc indicating Halle worked in a timely manner. This seems to have helped; I don't think she likes the morning message any better, but she sure likes those stickers.

However, whether Halle qualifies gifted or not, I'm still concerned about next year.

and the saga continues...

As you know, I told my sister on the 4th that I thought it would be better for her to just get a storage unit, it would be cheaper. I was surprised that she sounded upset, I expected her to be relieved to save between $100 and $150 and at the same time, get out of a 'lease agreement' for a room she obviously didn't want to live in. On the 5th, I called my mom to see how things were going. Mom tells me that Crystal is angry at her. Apparently Crystal wasn't going to call me at all, and mom told her she needed to before she got kicked out. So it was my mother's fault that she called me and was kicked out anyway. My head reeled! A) that she thought this was my mother's fault in any way, rather than a natural result of her behavior and b) she had been absent from the premesis for the majority of March and had made no effort to pay rent or make payment arrangements for the month of April. I didn't kick her out, she had left of her own accord three or four weeks prior! I just asked her to remove her abandoned property from my home. On Thursday, my sister calls to ask me if it will be OK if she comes next weekend (this coming weekend) to get her stuff. She won't have any money to get a storage unit until then, because her phone was shut off and she had to pay the bill to get it turned back on. I explained that it just didn't make sense for her to pay me rent when she could get a storage unit for far less, but that I understood and the following weekend would be fine. When I get home that night, Ro tells me that he was watching TV and heard something creaking. He muted the TV and heard it again. He got up to check it out, figuring it was the dog, and as he let the dog out, sees my sister slipping out the door with a basket of stuff. He said she didn't come back and say anything, so he didn't even attempt to address her. This of course just strengthened my resolve that she simply cannot continue to live here.

So I've been speaking with my mother regularly about my nana and I found out this Monday, that Crystal had not intended to call me to let me know she couldn't move her things last weekend, and that my mother insisted she call. Mom also tells me that Crystal, and my brother's girlfriend, are very unhappy about what they are going to be charged for room and board: $500. They say they can't afford it. This is when I found out that they are both working only part time, and neither are looking for full time jobs. And that my sister's car payment and insurance together are about $500 per month. AND, that she was suspended on the Friday BEFORE she bought the car. She had it all lined up, but hadn't signed any paperwork or put any money down. Knowing that was her third suspension for the same thing, she still went and bought the car. For some reason, she was convinced she would not be fired. Then, after she was fired, she made no effort to look for a job for weeks.

Someone 'splain this to me. She has $500 in expenses for her car (which astounds me, it's hardly bigger than a minute), she is only working part time. She told me on the 4th that she was planning on moving in the next 45 days, but was not planning at that point to live with my mother. I don't know where she thought she was going to live where her rent, utilities, and groceries would be less than what she paid living here or what she knew my mother was planning on charging our brother for living there. The mortgage at the house my mom and grandma just bought is twice mine, so even divided by more people the expenses are higher. And she knew what my mother had told my brother and his girlfriend rent would be, before the move and before she asked my mom if she could stay there 'for a little while,' which she didn't do until after I told her I wasn't interested in receiving her rent and would prefer she move. My mother told my brother, his girlfriend, and my sister that their rent was due on the 25th of each month for the following month, and presented them each with a lease agreement. She also told them that if they do not pay the rent, they have 72 hours to leave. My sister, and I think my brother's girlfriend, refused to sign the lease, citing it too expensive. My brother has no problem with it, as this was discussed and agreed on prior to them moving into this house at the first of the month.

So, I'm thinking this: If Crystal gets paid on the 15th, and is only working part time, I doubt she can afford to pay $500 to my mother by the 25th (which is before her next payday), rent a storage unit, and cover her expenses for gas and whatever may come due for her vehicle between the 15th and 29th. I start wondering, now that I know she was planning on just not showing up last weekend and now that I know her financial situation, if she is just going to no-show this weekend because she doesn't want to tell me for a second time that she doesn't have money to move. Yesterday my mother called me about my grandmother, and I asked if Crystal was there/could I speak with her. She was asleep, and I heard her tell my mother she would call me back, but I didn't hear from her. I called my mother again yesterday to see if Crystal has said anything, or made any arrangements with my mom's husband, who has a truck and agreed to transport her stuff from my place to wherever but said he's not packing or moving a thing. My mother was under the firm impression that Crystal had called me later that morning before leaving for work. I tell her I think one of two things is going to happen. My sister is going to blow me off again and blame it on the outrageous rent my mother is making her pay, or she is going to tell my mother she can't pay rent because I 'kicked her out.' None of the issues will be related to the fact that she was fired from her job after she got yet another customer complaint, her third suspension. It won't have anything to do with the fact that she financed a vehicle when she should have KNOWN her employment was in serious jeapordy, or that she made no effort to find a job for weeks afterwards, or that she has taken a part time job and made no effort at finding full time employment. It won't have anything to do with the fact that she has been blatantly disrespectful to me or that her behavior has had a negative effect on Tyler and Halle. I told my mom that I really appreciated her insisting Crystal call me last week, but please don't say anything else to her about contacting me. I wouldn't have expected her to just no show then, but I'm aware it's a possibility now. I really want to see what she is going to do when left to her own devices. I already have ample grounds to legally declare that she has abandoned the residence and will be able to declare the same in regards to her property if she doesn't show this weekend. I can't have this dragging out forever, and it's clear that she has no sense of right or wrong and will continue to take advantage for as long as I let her.

"The base of all things is love, respect."
--Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo

The greatest weapon of any Spiritual Warrior is love. Love will change minds; love will forgive; love will let go; love will cause good luck; love will heal; love will cry; love will get rid of resentments; love will overcome fear. Love loves love. Any human who is loving will be guaranteed respect. Respect loves love. We need to love and respect ourselves.

Grandmother, Grandfather, today, lead me on the path of love.

"Once you make a friend, a friend never leaves you, even to death.

So a friend is really hard to find."
--Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn't based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don't see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision. This is true friendship.

Great Spirit, I'm glad you are this kind of Friend.

The 'Crystal Saga'

I know I've mentioned to a few people that there was some drama with my sister, but that it was a long story, and it's been stretching out for two months. Here's the condensed version:

The first weekend of February is when it started - she left the house Saturday morning and comes in Sunday evening while the kids' and I are watching TV. Monday morning I leave for work and there is an unfamiliar car in the driveway. She never mentioned, either before she left or after coming home, anything about a new car.

The rest of that week, she came home later and later each night. I figured she was just enjoying her first car, plus my brother had recently moved into town and was staying with my mother, who lives about an hour away. As one week stretched into two and she wasn't coming home until between midnight and two each morning, although her shift at work starts between 6:30 and 7:00 AM, I knew something was up. I didn't ask here where she was, although I did mention to her that the kids were asking where she was. She volunteered that she was working double shifts at work. I knew it was highly unlikely her company needed telemarketers so badly that she would be putting in 80 hours a week. I was actually starting to worry that she might be partying and developing a problem there, because she was downright pissy whenever she was at the house, which wasn't much. Early in March, a concerned family member, who requested anonymity, called to tell me Crystal had been fired from her job 2/3 weeks ago. I wasn't surprised... she has been written up twice for customer complaints and the second time it happened they demoted her. This becomes a joke around the house between Ro and I... once he asked her, 'Aren't you working today?' and she replied, 'No, it's my day off.' Yeah, today and every day. It's a comedy at work too... with coworkers stopping by every few days to see if she's moved out while I was at work or something. I didn't say anything for a while, I was hoping she would come and talk to me about it. I finally confronted her about three weeks ago, and told her that I didn't care... it was her job, or lack thereof, and what she did about it was her business. But this isn't how you treat family, it's not how you would treat a friend, and it's not even how you would treat a roommate. I told her that it showed a marked lack of respect and that I didn't want to live with someone who felt that way about me, and if this is the way she was going to act, she should just move out. I clarified that I was not kicking her out, just that if this is the way you feel about being here, please go. I haven't seen her since. I know she's been here to pick up mail and other items, but she hasn't moved anything out. She paid rent for March, so as far as I was concerned, that room was still hers. I anticipated that she would move her things out by the end of the month, as she had not come 'home' since that conversation. The kids have asked several times why she hasn't been around and I'm at a loss as to what to tell them. They have each made comments though, that indicate even though their feelings are hurt that she just disappeared, they are relieved that she is gone and overall, didn't like her living here. So it's now April, and she had made no effort to contact me about staying and paying rent or moving, etc. I called and left her a message last night, and she called back this evening. OK, short verion over.

I asked what her plans were. She said something about her checking account being messed up, and that tomorrow she would give me a little more than half what she pays in rent, and if it was OK she would give me the rest and some extra out of her next paycheck since it was late. I told her that I wouldn't have charged her a late fee, and she said I know, this is my penalty to myself. It was on the tip of my tongue to say, so you give me a little guilt money and that makes the way you've acted for two months OK? But I thought that might be inflammatory so I just asked why she was even going to pay rent. She replied, because my stuff is still here (not, because I live there) so I asked, are you planning to move out? and she replied, not right away, but within the next 45 days. I asked why she hadn't just talked to me about this (because I should not have had to call and ask), and she said that she had planned to talk to me in person because it's not nice to tell someone you're moving out over the phone. I said, no, and it's probably also not nice to tell someone you want them to move out over the phone, but when the one person avoids and lies to the other person for six weeks that's kinda the way it has to happen. She says she has not avoided me or lied to me. I guess it's just coincidence that I haven't laid eyes on her in over a month. I told her, You have not been up front with me about things that could have had a negative affect on me financially (I decided not to address that the cold shoulder offended me and hurt the kids, that I figure she knew and she obviously could care less). I really don't want you to pay rent. I'd rather that you just came and got your things and if you need to put them in storage, that will be cheaper for you. I asked if she could maybe make arrangements to do that this weekend, and she said she probably could and would get in touch with me to set something up. I could tell she was pissed by her tone, but I just thanked her and said, "I really think this will be better for both of us."

The kids heard part of the conversation and asked if she was coming home. I told them that I had asked her to move out. They wanted to know why, and I explained that I didn't think Crystal enjoyed living here and that instead of talking about it she was just being unhappy and doing things that made the rest of us unhappy, like not spending any time here or being cranky when she was here. We talked for a while about it... Tyler is glad she's gone and Halle said even though she was amean auntie she thinks that I should be able to talk to her so she won't be so mean. They wanted to know if she hated us, and I told them no, it's not them, but that she might be upset with me but I'm not sure because she hasn't talked to me about anything. I told them that I've talked to Crystal several times about being considerate and kind and honest, and that there wasn't anything else I could really do about it. Halle wanted to know if I still loved her and I said yes, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea for us to live together. It seems like she wants to be a grown up and be on her own and if that's the case, she shoudl go and do that and I can't let her live with us and treat them and I the way she has been. I stressed many, many times that I am not Crystal's mom and that she is a grown up so I can't really do anything about her behavior.

But Tyler still asked me, when I was tucking him in bed, if he did something that I really hated over and over and over, if I would sell him. I told him no way... because you are my kid and we belong together and it's my job to help him and teach him the right things.

I have a feeling Halle won't miss Crystal nearly as much when she realizes she'll (eventually) be getting her own room.

Points to Ponder

"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail."
-- Abraham Maslow

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. "

"But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way."
-- Jane Austen

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
-- Winston Churchill

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."
-- Anonymous

"I'm not overweight, I'm just nine inches too short."
-- Shelley Winters

"Normal: what the average person can accomplish with little or no effort. So why be normal?"
-- Bob Seay

"Today I feel like the meat in an idiot sandwich!"
-- Anonymous

"A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents."
-- G. C. Lichtenberg

"Walking Eagle: Person who is too full of crap to fly."
-- Athabascan Tribes saying

"May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy."

"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man."
-- Erica Jong

"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another.... It's one damn thing over and over!"
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense."
-- Mark Twain

"Nothing so much needs reforming as other people's habits."
-- Mark Twain

"If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all."

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they are going to have some annoying virtues.
-- Elizabeth Taylor

Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching.
-- Assyrian clay tablet 2800 B.C.

Devoting a little of yourself to everything means committing a great deal of yourself to nothing.
-- Michael LeBoef

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-- Jeff Foxworthy

A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.

Do all the good you can, ...
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
-- John Wesley

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity.
-- Erma Bombeck

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up.
-- Booker T. Washington

Hoppy Easter!!!

We had a good weekend, even though I felt like I was running a marathon. We went to Disney on Ice Saturday, and the kids loved that. Sunday we went to church and they had a little Easter Egg hunt. I should have taken pictures, the girls were so beautiful and Tyler looked so handsome and grown up. Then we drove out to Surprise to visit my nana at the hospital. She's finally out of the intensive care unit, and is in the part of the hospital where they do physical therapy. She told me yesterday that she'd just found out that she was going to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair with a urine bag. My mom didn't know anything about that so I don't know if a doctor told my grandmother that after my mom had left, or if she's just afraid that's what's going to happen and has blown it up in her mind. I couldn't get to the store by myself this week to get the kids' Easter baskets, so my mom went and got them and left them in my nana's room for when we got there. That was really nice, my nana enjoyed watching them eating their candy and it gave the kids something to do other than mess with all the electrical equipment.

Not much in the way of updates, but...

I'm trying to get it together at work since I'm out next week. Taking the kids to SB Sunday and coming home Wednesday. My grandma went into the hospital last Saturday night because she couldn't breath again and was intubated until yesterday. I'm not sure when she'll be able to go home. Ro left Sunday night for England again. Oh, and he called last night because he is supposed to say something at the wedding, congratulating his sister and welcoming her husband to the family. He is clueless what to say and asked for my help, so I'm trying to think of something manly.

You may call me Madame President!

OK, not of the country or anything, but of my kids' PTSO (parent teacher student organization). Kinda operates like PTA, but independant from the state/national association. I kinda got it by default - I've been asking the principal about PTSO for the two years Tyler has been there, and when they held the informational meeting to form a PTSO, I was the only parent there for the first 30 minutes. So I found myself confirmed on Wednesday, and manning an information table and speaking at a literacy carnival on Thursday. You can imagine, between writing the speech and designing an informational flyer to hand out... didn't get much sleep wednesday night. Actually, I haven't gotten much sleep in the last week period.

I'm really excited about this... and nervous too. The school hasn't had an active PTSO in about five years, and IMO, it was probably because they weren't well organized. Apparently, the parents involved moved on over to the middle school and there wasn't anyone to replace them, so I'm guessing they may not have done much in the way of recruiting new members to take over. In a K-3 school that's really important, since each student is at the school only 4 years, rather than 6 to 9 years as they are in K-5 or K-8 schools. You know how I am with a new project... I've spent so much time doing research, and to have a really successful and effective PTSO you have to do a lot more than just send home flyers occasionally. Unfortunately, that seems to be the way most PTSO's operate. And on top of that, there were four principals in the last five years, and resurrecting PTSO just never happened. So I'm starting from scratch. There is some money in the PTSO account (how much TBD), but there are no bi-laws, no minutes of past meetings, no records whatsoever except the bank statements (the treasurer is an employee at the middle school across the street; she also used to work at our school and she's just continued to act in that capacity despite the PTSO being defunct).

So I'm researching how to write bi-laws and trying to figure out what committees I'll need and recruiting members and volunteers. I found some really great resources, one of them being the Three for Me Promise www.three4me.com, and I'll be using that to launch our volunteer drive. We'll be pooling for committee chairpersons from that. I've got lots of great ideas for events from my research too, and I can't wait to get those started.

Well, I should get to work, I have potential volunteers to call from the sign up sheet we put out at last week's literacy fair.

Please don't eat the airplane...

Background: Daija and I have a little war of words where I say 'you silly' and she replies 'no, YOU silly' which can often diffuse a potential temper tantrum.

So over the weekend, I am about to change her diaper and notice a foreign object in her mouth. I asked her to spit it out and it's a couple peices of her little foam AWA plane. I asked her not to eat the airplane, and tossed the peices into the trash. Daija, being two, cries... 'No, MINE!!!'

To distract her, I comment, 'Daija, you have a poopy butt'

And she shoots back, 'No, YOU have a poopy butt'.

I swear, I saw a little bit of a neck roll.

President's Day Weekend...

The kids had the day off school yesterday so I took a vacation day. Got a good bit done around the house Saturday morning, and then laid down Saturday afternoon after I put Daija down, thinking I would take a quick nap (damn Ro, damn him and his naps)... slept for four hours. Was up half the night Saturday.

Then Sunday I went and took my nana out to lunch. My deadbeat brother (the one previously AWOL) is here again, although I do have to commend that he found himself a job within a week this time. I don't know if I mentioned, but during the time frame that he was AWOL, he had an online girlfriend from AZ who was a single parent (either pregnant with her first or had just had a baby). Not 100% sure what happened with that relationship. FF to now: Well, he had another online girlfriend from AZ. (see a pattern?) He moved out here and into my nana & mom/step dad's place. So did his online girlfriend... she and her 3mo daughter (see another pattern?) moved up from Tucson. Now, my brother has been here for all of about three weeks, and he proposed to her a week or two ago. Can y'all just SEE my eyes rolling out of my head and bouncing on the floor? Apparently things aren't going that well between my nana and mom... my mom feels like my nana doesn't like her kids (my siblings). Let's see... my oldest younger sister never so much as sent a card or called to offer her condolences when my grandfather died. My brother... well... do I need to say anything? My youngest sister... well, that's a long story but she generally has attitude (and this is the sibling I know for a fact that Nana doesn't like, but I’ve never seen her be nasty about it, at least no more rude then they are to her). Crystal (younger sister #3, sibling #4, the one who lives with me) also tends to be very short with my nana. Now, my nana is getting up there and is certainly getting more and more challenging to deal with, but frankly if my siblings aren't likable my mother has no one to blame for that. My nana thinks Daniel & Connie & her baby should get their own place... apparently my brother has fines to pay off in KS (I think related to his license) and for this reason, they can't do that. And apparently my nana, mother, and her hubby have all put in a bid on a house... a 4 bedroom house. My nana says she's not sure how that happened... she never wanted more than a three bedroom house. I bit my tongue, but I know exactly how this happened... and my nana can probably expect to be living with my brother and whatever desperate for a man single pregnant/just had a baby internet relationship my brother digs up after this girl realizes what my brother is really like. Or, god forbid, she doesn't realize what he's really like or is OK with is, which means she's just as much as a loser as he is.

Oh, and on my way home from there, I got a flat tire on my new car. Go figure, my spare tire is not a donut... it's a full size spare. Now, I've changed plenty of tires, but the spare was always a donut. It is really amazing how much heaver a regular size tire full of air is, than the flat tire you just took off. I never knew air was so damn heavy, and then because I was wobbly maneuvering it, the damn screws on the rotor thing kept moving! Made me sorry I told the first two people who offered to help that I had it. Fortunately a third person stopped and he got the tire on there for me. So that meant a trip to Discount Tire, and I really didn't feel like I got a discount. I could hear my grandfather's voice in my head (always have the same kind of tire on all wheels) so since the other three wheels were Michellin... there went $172 out of my pocket.

I also checked out two more preschools - the one I like best is unbelievably cheap, but Daija has to be potty trained first. I would hate to switch Daija mid-year, but I really like this particular daycare and I really don't want to leave Daija at Francis' until she's potty trained. That child is never going to stop telling people to shut up as long as she goes there every day. My plan had been to move her after the kids' spring break mid/late March, but I've been thinking of bumping that up a bit. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do now. I'm back to a toss-up between two preschools that were really comparable as far as price, but the 2yo room in one seemed a little cluttered and the playground equipment was a little sparse, but served meals, and the one that didn't serve any meals but had better playground equipment. I guess I'm going to have to visit again.

Tyler - Specialist Update

Oh, I am so behind! I got a phone call earlier this week from Dr. Kessler's office, to schedule Tyler for an appointment. His next available for a new patient: JUNE 20!!! The school year will be over at that point and I'm not sure if Tyler will already be in VA, but if not he'd be leaving shortly after his birthday on 6/27. I figured it would be better to start the process and be able to continue it uninterrupted, so I scheduled it for the last week of July, knowing he'll be back by then since school will start either that week or the following week.

Halle Brag :)

Look at a snippet of the email I got from the tutor Halle is working with this semester! I saw that Halle had some multiplication problems the other day, and she said that her tutor gave them to her, and I was wondering what the tutor was thinking, giving my kinder-girl times tables, which are generally considered 2nd/3rd grade math! Now, I figure she gave them to her because Halle, the nosy parkette that she is, was eavesdropping on the other kid's work. I guess that multiplication rocks CD is paying off ;-)

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Thursday, February 17, 2005 2:06 PM
Subject: Halle's tutoring

Anyways, Halle is an absolute doll, and I am having a lot of fun tutoring her. I bought her a white board and she practices her spelling on it, and she loves it. She is a very bright girl for only being in kindergarden... she picks up on my other tutor's 3rd grade math homework easily... she overhears us talking and shouts out the answers. She is amazing. If you have any suggestions or anything on what I can do to help her more, just e-mail me back! Sorry it took so long!

Heart Failure, & other news

So for Valentine's Day, Daija gave me heart failure. I was fixing dinner, Halle was doing her chores and Tyler had been outside, and was coming in and out of the garage to get various toys. I should have known something was up when Daija wanted me to help her put her monkey back-pack on. While Tyler was in his room, and I was in the kitchen helping Halle with sweeping, Daija opened up the garage door. Now, this would normally be no big deal because she was just looking for Tyler and wouldn't have gone any further than where he was. But, Tyler wasn't outside and in the process of opening the door, Daija let Ramie out. Ramie does love to sneak outside for a little jaunt, and if you follow her she'll run for an hour but leave her alone, and she'll be back in 20 minutes... so Ramie took off for her cruise around the neighborhood. Daija followed her. So I'm still in the kitchen, and had just asked Tyler, who had come into the kitchen, where Daija was, when someone pounded on my door. The mailperson, recognizing Ramie from the backyard, asked me 'Do you have daughter?' I knew what was coming next... 'I just saw her following your dog.' Now, why the lady didn't take her hand and lead her in our direction I don't know. I took off running and caught up with Daija and Ramie who had crossed two or three neighborhood streets, nearly two blocks from the house. I asked, breathlessly, 'Daija, what are you doing?' and she calmly pointed at the dog 'Ramie go.' It took some doing, but I convinced her that Ramie would come back but I needed Daija to come home now. Thank God Ramie headed back into our housing development and not for Southern Avenue. I am kinda glad that I've gotten the lost child out of the way early this year. I shouldn't lose another one until 2006.

Oh, and I flubbed the tooth fairy duties. I forgot to leave money under Halle's pillow Monday night. Tuesday, I told her that because she lost her tooth so late in the evening (right before bed), the tooth fairy probably just couldn't get it on her schedule that quickly. Well, while Halle was brushing her teeth, Tyler shook some change out of his bank and left two nickels and seven pennies under her pillow, and then led her back in there to show her where it was. She came running into my room all aglow over her 17 cents (little does she know the going rate for a tooth is now a dollar). I was a little freaked out until I asked how she found the money and she told me 'Tyler showed me' My heart just welled up - I have never fessed up to him that any of the gift giving icons aren't real. It was so sweet to realize that he plays along not only when it comes to himself, but also to create the magic for his sister. Of course, he pocketed two quarters and tried walking very carefully so they wouldn't clink... hoping I'm sure to buy a soda or some candy at school. How very un-tooth-friendly of him!

So, updating on me... I'm good - time will have to tell on the meds, though. Now that I'm off the cough medicine with codeine, I'm coming to realize that at this dosage, Strattera makes me sleepy, occasionally dizzy, and slightly nauseous for several hours after I take it.... the other week I thought it was the cough medicine and/or antibiotics I was taking (I started that stuff the same week I started the 60mg). Wednesday night, I did what a lot of people do, and switched to taking them before bed instead of first thing in the morning. I'm going to have to see how that goes... but if the sleepiness continues in the daytime I'll have to try something else. I was literally asleep (well, dozing) at my desk for almost an hour yesterday, sitting straight up. I feel much better today, so we'll see. I'd really prefer to stay on Strattera if taking them at night does the trick; my only other options are stimulant meds and I can't get a controlled Rx refilled; I would have to go to the Dr. to get a new Rx every month. I already have to do that for Tyler and it's a PITA. And while the Strattera hasn't totally changed my life and made me super motivated to do 'boring' stuff at work, or house work at home, it has helped me be able to keep my attention focused a little better in 'low stimulant' situations (like sitting on a 20 minute conference call where I only need to participate in about 2 minutes of it throughout the call). I have noticed some other really positive side effects that I'm not sure I would get from a stimulant med, since Strattera has similar affects as an anti-depressant (this per the psychologist). One of the common traits of ADHD is people tend to miss social cues. I've come to realize that Ro makes dead pan comments that I used to get really irritated by, and now I realize he's joking so I rib him when he says this stuff that used to really bug me and it's taken some old tension out of our relationship. I've also realized that I have been unfair in the past in regards to him helping. Admittedly, I do think he should help more than he does, but at the same time, I had a tendency to discount anything he did do to help, because it wasn't the way I do it or it wasn't what I considered a priority or what I wanted done. For example, if I leave the bed unmade, that doesn't bother me. However, if he leaves the bed unmade, or makes the bed but the cover is uneven, or pulled to high up, that would bug me. And I would get my panties in a twist with a 'if you're not going to do it right don't do it at all attitude' and remake the bed. Now, I'm just happy that he makes the bed when he gets up after I do and I make sure I make the bed if he gets up first. I still notice when he makes it that the comforter isn't straight, and that the bed skirt is lopsided from him shoving the mattress, but it doesn't bug me and I don't feel a need to 'do it right' or comment on it not being right. I'm just glad he made the bed. And when he gets the kids fast food, I don't get my panties in a bunch because it's not the healthy food I'd prefer they eat or because I had planned something for dinner, I just recognize that he was trying to give me a break from cooking. And he's started checking with me to make sure I don't have something planned for dinner (another thing I'd get pissy about... I'd get home and the kids would have eaten greasy old burgers, and I'd have thawed meat that would go to waste).

I also bought a car last Friday, a 1994 Dodge Intrepid. I made the very difficult decision that I am going to turn the van into the finance company. I have a $360 a month payment, and spent another $2000 in car repairs last year, only $500 of which was covered by my service contract. I had someone check it out while Ro was visiting his family and I had his car for transportation... I have a bad knock sensor and O2 sensor in addition to the fact that the a/c has a wiring problem my mechanic says will probably get very expensive to troubleshoot and there is another electrical problem that no one can figure out; every time I accelerate all the lights in the van come on even though all the doors are securely shut. I only have about 10 thousand miles left on my service contract, and already I anticipate spending at least another thousand dollars in repairs, and that's just what I know of. God only knows what else will fall apart on this thing before I hit 100,000 miles. And the finance company won't defer a payment when I have a car repair (none of which have been less than $300), so I have to short my mortgage and then my mortgage shows late until I get it caught back up. I just can't afford what this van is doing to my budget, and I do not want to get tied up in another 4-6 year car loan... until Daija goes into kinder (in another 3.5 years). If it wasn't for the payment, I could afford car repairs and maintenance. I am getting a nice tax refund this year, and decided to try and find a vehicle from a private owner, preferably a nice retired person who had driven it gently! Ro suggested I start looking now and if I found something really good, he'd give me the money for it (he finally sold his house in December) and I could just give it back when my tax return arrives. So I started looking and it took a week (boy, those sun city 'senior driven' cars go FAST!), but I found this car, which is 11 years old but only had 64K. The couple that was selling it was recently retired and it wasn't being used, as they had another vehicle. Since they were selling their house and moving, they decided since it wasn't being used anyway they'd be better off selling it. It had been the wife's car, and for the seven years they'd lived in AZ, she'd worked only a mile from their house and really only used the car to go back and forth to work. The interior is immaculate except that the passenger air bag cover warped from the heat, the paint looks great, and Chris, my mechanic, checked it out and said it was in great shape except for a leaking compressor, which I'd probably need to replace in the next year or two. It was obvious the car had been really well taken care of and I'd already looked at two that Chris deemed mechanically unsound (thank God for him, I could have been taken for a ride so easily!!!), so I made an offer and we did the title transfer that day. I'm still trying to work out fitting all three kids in back; I can get all the car and booster seats in but the kid have a hard time buckling up... but I'm sure we'll figure it out. Technically, Tyler doesn't 'have' to use a booster anymore but I really prefer that he does, I don't like the way the seatbelt fits him without it. I'm going to look into getting the front airbag disabled; then he could use his booster in the front seat.

A BIG FIRST!!!

OK, I know I've been quiet for a while but I caught a really bad case of bronchitis that kept me out of work for a week, and I (and the house) are still recovering from me being flat on my back for a week.

But, the exciting news that brings me here... Halle lost her first tooth! She had three total loose, two on bottom, one on top. One on the bottom was barely hanging in there, so I asked if I could pull it. She said yes, I gave it a teensy tug, and out it came. How exciting... Tyler's first tooth (and his second) just fell out of his mouth, neither of us ever knew it was loose. Halle has been savoring this right of passage for about two weeks now.

I think I'm going to sprinkle Halle with a little sparkly powder tonight so she'll wake up with a kiss from the tooth fairy :)

Another Tyler Brag

Well, here's a short post for a change. Tyler brought home his 8th consecutive perfect attendance award for last quarter, and also an award for making the Silver Honor Roll.

Rapping at the speed of sound...

Well, due to popular demand I pulled out Tyler's space book and got him to tell me what he had about to say. First of all, there was a typo in my other post... the paragraph should have read, the shuttle can travel much faster than the speed of sound.

So Tyler's question was... if you were the fastest rapper in the galaxy, would the shuttle get to outer space before you could say even one word. So we talked a little bit about the speed of sound... and we determined, that if the shuttle took off at the same time the fastest rapper in the galaxy started to rap, the shuttle would get to space, much faster than the sound of the rapper's voice. At least, I think that's how it works.

It really sucks to have a kid smarter than you are.

After I got home last night and got the girls in bed, I asked Tyler if he'd read any of the 'How to Become an Astronaut 101' articles I'd given him. He said, yeah... I learned a bunch of stuff I didn't know. I showed him some of the stuff I printed about the Civil Air Patrol, and had him read it, then asked him, do you think that's something you'd like to do? And he looked at me and said

I am going to do that.

And we talked a little bit about how it is soooo hard to become an astronaut... so he will have to work very hard starting now, but that even if he can't be an astronaut, there are still lots of other jobs he could do at NASA. He thought I meant he had to get a job now. I told him, no... that means you have to work hard in math and science. And you have to be a certain height (he cried, OH NO, I said don't worry... it's not really tall and he sighed, Oh, good!), so you have to eat right so your body has fuel to grow. You have to make sure you never ever do drugs, because drugs can hurt your body so badly. He brings up that, drugs are medicine.

So then we get into this discussion about legal and illegal drugs. There are prescription drugs that you get from a doctor that you need to help your body, but there are other drugs that are not legal, and it's not legal to take Rx drugs that are not yours. I remind him that some drugs are so dangerous that you can die the very first time you take them. I told him that I'd never done any drugs, so I knew he could NOT do drugs too. I told him how a lot of poeple I went to school with did drugs. He wanted to know how old... I said 13 or 14. He was puzzled, then said... '13 is too young to do drugs. They should have waited until they were 20... or maybe 30.' I was laughing on the inside, but I told him it was not good to do drugs no matter how old you are, but I agreed that 13 was definitely way too young.

Then we started talking about marijuana... I told him that pot kills brain cells so every time you smoke marijuana, you get dumber. I told him that one of the girls I went to school with smoked a lot of marijuana, and she didn't graduate from high school... didn't even finish 9th grade, and now she works at a gas station... and that she wouldn't even be able to get a job mopping floors at NASA.

THEN... Tyler says, 'so that's what nana does, right?' So then I needed to explain the difference in tobacco cigarettes and marijuana cigarettes... one gives you lung cancer, and the other is bad for your lungs, AND it makes you stupid. I am so bad... I'm gonna scar this kid, I swear.

So then he wants to know about other drugs, so I told him about a few, including street names. Now he wants to know what they look like, so he can stay away from them. I told him, we'll work on learning how to recognize them, but you remember these five things and you will be fine...

1. Never EVER take a pill from a friend, even if they say it's just aspirin. Don't swallow any pills unless me, Ro, your dad, or a school nurse gives them to you.
2. Never EVER smoke anything. Smoking is always bad for your lungs, and you never know what other drugs might be crushed inside.
3. Never EVER snort any kind of powder.
4. Never EVER put a needle in your arm.
5. Never EVER breathe in any chemicals.

I think it was the water...

regarding my post on testosterone poisoning... Phoenix had a problem with potable water and there was a ban on using it for consumption all day yesterday and most of today... and I think that might have been the problem. I wonder if he got some bad water before we heard about it. They cleared the water for drinking today. Tonight, Ro kept the kids while I went to Site Council and PTSO meetings at the school for two hours. While I was gone, he fed the kids the burgers I brought, made himself something to eat, cleaned up after the kids, took the diapers I bought and put them all in the basket where I keep the diapers, and gave the kids a snack. He left the house not too long after I got home, but before he went he put his leftover food in the fridge and told me to leave the pan; he'd take care of it.

Careers in Space...

Well, the goal of being an astronaut is kinda like wanting to be a professional basketball player... The number of people who make it that far is very very small. I had read, on one of my 2E lists, where one parent told another that if her son really wanted to work for NASA, not to ever give him meds for ADHD, because that would disqualify him from entry into the program. I've heard the same thing about military service. If I hadn't read that, I probably would have thought Wow, Tyler... that's a great goal. Good for you. And left it at that. So when I started looking at the requirements to see what it said about ADHD and if what I'd heard was fact or rumor, I saw the flight hours required to be considered for the space program. It's a lot and would be very difficult to accomplish as a civilian... the easiest way to get the hours is to be either a commercial or military pilot. Now, Tyler has been interested in space for a while, and his 2nd grade teacher made a comment last year to tell me to make sure he takes AP math classes and that she thinks he should work in the space program, perhaps as an engineer. So I'd already looked into the fact that the high school that is our 'home' school has an aviation and aerospace magnate. I contacted them yesterday and asked them to send me a brochure.

So, if you don't already think I've gone over the top, you will now that I tell you that I've not only emailed the high school, I've also emailed NASA, and the US Coast Guard. I've discovered that Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has a campus in Prescott AZ, and that UofA is one of the consortium schools NASA gives grants to. Scouting is strongly recommended, but I just don't think I can do boy scouts so I've discovered that the Civil Air Patrol (which is thru the air force) has a cadet program that focuses on and volunteer work and aerospace education opportunities, and Tyler can join that at 12. I've probably printed a ream of paper for him to start reading... not all at once of course, but bit by bit, so that he can have an idea of the work involved if he really wants to do this.

The way I figure it, there is NOTHING that he would do to try and get into the space program that would be a waste of his time or that wouldn't be of use to him whatever his career choice. My plan is to encourage him to do all the things he would need to do, because frankly, you really have to start preparing for a career in space in grade school, starting the with basics of science and math. If worse comes to worse, he just finds a job working for NASA but isn't in the space program, that's still fantastic and that will still make him very happy. In the meantime, I can hold onto the hope that he'll be busy enough preparing for this career that he'll stay out of a lot of the trouble that appeals to boys... especially ADHD boys.

Testosterone Poisoning...

Roro had testosterone poisoning last night. It involved a video game. 8 hours worth. It just made for a very long, angry night. He's been in a funk ever since he came back from England, which is a pretty normal 'cycle' for him... but it's not what I want to be dealing with right now.

Anyway, he started playing this game last night at about 5PM. I asked him probably half a dozen times to get Daija out of my way while I made dinner. And he has this appt with immigration tomorrow. We talked while he was in England about this letter I was going to help him with. Well, either he wasn't home or neither he nor I would think of it when he was. We were supposed to get it out of the way last night. So in about hour three of the video game, I go in and say, 'I have this list of 8 things that need to be done. If you want my help with this letter, tell me what you can take care of.' Without missing a keystroke, he says, 'Don’t worry about the letter' and continues to play the game. I get the kids in bed, and go into the room to get my shoes (I need dryer sheets) and he says to me, 'if you're going to the store, go now'. I lost my patience then and asked him if he minded if I didn't go barefoot. Then while I'm at Safeway, he calls me and asks me to get honey. I told him I wouldn't buy honey to save him from starving and hung up. And can you believe when I got home he was upset that I hung up on him? He never said anything about the honey I didn't buy. Oh, and btw, he didn't turn off that game until 1AM… and I know this because he was playing it right next to me in the bed. Well, he was lying in the bedroom watching cartoons with Daija when I got home... that's where he was at 5 when he started playing, that's where he STILL was at 10 when I crawled in bed. Couldn’t move and miss a keystroke. It actually didn't keep me awake; I just woke up when he started his usual 'I can't get comfortable' side-to-side toss. The fact that 5PM to 1AM is 8 hours pissed me off.

Tonight, he offered to buy pizza (which I took him up on when I discovered my hamburger was still frozen) and although he was glued to a basketball game, he did keep Daija out of the way... even changed her diaper without prompting. However, at about 7 he fell asleep, which he is still doing now.

Can You Hear a Shout in Space?

Tyler was reading this book last week called 'Can You Hear a Shout in Space' and there was this section that talked about the speed of sound... and Tyler got this intense look on his face, and said 'So if you were the FASTEST rapper on the planet...' and then the poor kid saw me biting my lip to keep a straight face and said 'never mind...' I really wish I knew what he had been about to say. A night or two later he was reading this part about astronauts and it was talking about who can become and astronaut. I walked into his room to check on him, and he told me that his new motto is' Less playing, more learning', and went back to that page and had me read it. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he can probably work for NASA if he works hard enough, but his condition and meds will probably make being an astronaut unlikely.

I consider ADHD a neurological disorder, but a lot of people lump it with depression, bipolar, and other mood disorders... not sure what NASA does. And depending on how you read the requirements, ADHD could easily fall into a category that could be excluded... for example, while it doesn't spell out ADHD, the section on psychosis does say...

(i) The individual has manifested delusions, hallucinations, grossly bizarre or
disorganized behavior, or other commonly accepted symptoms of this condition; or
(ii) The individual may reasonably be expected to manifest delusions,
hallucinations, grossly bizarre or disorganized behavior, or other commonly
accepted symptoms of this condition.

and under the neurological portion, it says:

(b) No other seizure disorder, disturbance of consciousness, or neurological
condition that the Federal Air Surgeon, based on the case history and
appropriate, qualified medical judgment relating to the condition involved,
finds--
(1) Makes the person unable to safely perform the duties or exercise
the privileges of the airman certificate applied for or held; or
(2) May reasonably be expected, for the maximum duration of the airman medical
certificate applied for or held, to make the person unable to perform those
duties or exercise those privileges.

Someone who is unable to focus their attention or control their impulses can pose a safety risk to others, so even though this really sucks for my kid, I can see the logic behind it. I.E., research has shown that people with ADHD have more car accidents; There are quite a few parents on my 2E list who have teenagers who are a risk to themselves and other behind the wheel of a car, or who were able to get through school w/o meds but need them to drive safely. I'm just not sure if someone taking meds to control it are OK... or if the drugs taken are a problem as well. And I'm not sure how far back this stuff is looked at... but the impression I got is, it counts. I'm just having a hard time confirming anything that spells out what ADHD is considered in the framework of their requirements. I imagine I'm just going to have to email NASA to find out.

What a morning!!!

OK, so Ro was planning on keeping Daija at home this week. Last night he says to me, he wants to go to car dealership in the AM to see about trading in the Escalade, so can I take Daija to the sitter in the AM? I say sure. So this morning, I oversleep. Wake up about five minutes after I usually leave the house. Not too terrible, I can rush and get to work without being too terribly late. Until I remember, that I do not have the option of skipping breakfast, as I need to take my Strattera and since it made Tyler puke if he had it before eating I don't want to take any chances on that count. OK... that puts a minor kink in the works, but we're all still doing pretty good time wise. But at 7:30, the doorbell rings. Who would be ringing my bell at 7:30 you may wonder? The countertop people, who I scheduled to come this week assuming Ro would be at the house, but forgot to mention to him, and of course who never crossed my mind last night. So I had to hang out while they ripped out my sink and countertops to take totheir shop to refinish/laminate. Fantastic. Didn't leave the house till 7:55, which meant I had to go to the kids school, which is only five miles from work, first so they don't miss breakfast/aren't late to class and then backtrack two miles the other side of my house to drop off Daija... oh and pick up my lunch which I forgot. All the while stressing about these countertop people who will need to come back to the house to reinstall, and then of course a plumber has to come put my sink back in. ARGH. Fortunately, I got in touch with Ro and he was able to meet them at the house and wait for the plumber, which helped, but I was over an hour late for work.

Strattera: Day 3

So on day three of my initial dose (there are three doses to start with to get you to what the minimal optimal dosage should be; it's a gradual buildup and you are to take each one for 4-7 days. I think I'm going to be conservative and take each dose for the full seven days). I don't feel 'different' like I did yesterday and Monday, I think I am 'adjusting' to the dosage I'm taking this week, but that may also have been some caffeine withdrawal, since I had to cut back the caffeine to avoid it interfering with the effectivity of the Strattera. Not a lot that I said to Dr. Thomas seemed to shock him, until I divulged how much diet coke I drink. I think the last few days I've probably had no more than 1/3 of what I usually drink. Finding that lime flavored water is really saving my behind... drinking the bubbles kinda gets me over the craving. I also usually walk down to the cafeteria to get ice for it, which takes care of the times I would go get a drink or snack just to walk away from my desk for a few minutes.

And, I'm on my call as I type this and I have thus managed to respond to two inquiries without being prompted a coupla times :)

Psychiatrist Visit

I saw Dr. Thomas yesterday and talked to him about the problems I'm having as well as the behaviors that made me hit so high on OCD; basically, the behaviors that appear OCD aren't so much that I'm afraid something bad will happen if I don't do certain things, it's more behaviors I've adapted to compensate for the ADD (for example, I am constantly checking for my keys, I can't close my car door unless my keys are in my hand, I can't walk away from my desk unless my keys are in my hand, I go to wash dishes and notice that the garbage disposal switch is dirty, so then I need to clean all the light plates in the house because if I don't do it NOW it won't get done... then I notice the wall around the light plate is dirty, I wash that too... then I notice the door jams and the doors are dirty... now all my light plates, walls, doors are clean but I'm exhausted and there are still no clean dishes). I told him about how it seems like the more the kids need of me, the less able I am to handle the household and perform adequately at work... and that I'd like to take the next step in my department, but I am really concerned that I won't be able to do the job adequately because of the nature of the job. He feels that I'm definitely doing everything he would suggest to someone with my condition/in my situation. He gave me some Strattera samples to try, which I started yesterday. They take a while to build up, unlike stimulant meds, but I definitely feel different... I can't exactly describe how. But for the first time in I can't remember how long, I was able to keep up with my morning meeting and not have my named called twice every time one of my requirements came up in the report. I wasn't focused on the meeting completely; I was reading the paper online like I usually do, but I was still able to keep part of my mind focused enough on what was going on in the meeting to be prepared when they needed my updates on certain parts.

Quotable Quote

"Why should any of us be confined within a single area of religious culture? When I read Amos and Jeremiah, I say 'Would to God I were a Jew.' When I read the Parable of the Good Samaritan, I say 'Would I were a Galilean.' When I read the 13th of 1st Corinthians, I wish with all my heart that I might be a Christian after the manner of the Apostle Paul. When I think of Buddha and his Eightfold Path, I say, 'I, too, would be a Buddhist.' And when I remember the trial of Socrates, I say in awe but with exalted spirit, 'Oh that I might be so brave a humanist.' And thus at the end, there is nothing I can say but that, like Emerson and Channing, I want to live with the privilege of the illimitable mind."

-- A. Powell Davies