Holiday Happenings in AZ

Well, starting a few days back... I got a package in the mail from Tyler's paternal grandparents. The box had some new clothes for Tyler, including three hooded sweatshirts! I guess Grandmommy heard through the grapevine that Tyler has lost a hooded sweatshirt, a hooded denim jacket, and a winter jacket since the beginning of November. I told him, when I gave him the last jacket, if he lost it he'd have to suffer until the weather warmed up. And sure enough, when his dad came to pick him up, I told him... 'Tyler doesn't have a jacket. I hope it's not too cold in VA.' The clothes are all too big, so I put them away, and wrapped the sweatshirts. He'll be thrilled to see them :) Also included was a check for $200, with instructions for me to buy a gift for Tyler from them, and something for the girls as well so they would remember Lean & Rev, and know that they had been remembered. I pondered for a while on this... and decided to get them soemthing I've been wanting them to have for quite some time but have never felt justified in spending the money, and something the kids would have forever. I got each of them a chalice necklace. For those of you who don't know, the UU religious symbol is a Flaming Chalice. While Tyler's grandad is a Reverend for the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church, I still felt this would be a fitting gift on their behalf... so I ordered Tyler a Contemporary Chalice (he always complains about chains so I'm hoping the leather works better) and Halle and Daija each a Rachel Chalice. I'm hopign they arrive by New Year's Eve, which is when we are doing our family celebration, after Tyler comes home.

Christmas Eve: we were told Thursday to go to lunch and don't come back... I was outta here by noon. Stopped and picked up tickets for Zoolights, similar to Ei's light display but at the zoo and featuring mostly animals and classical and holiday music. Drove down to Ahwatukee becasue I found out Wednesday that one of Daija's gifts ran out of stock before they shipped ours... d@mn amazon.com! I found something comparable, but not quite as cool at Toys R Us. I guess I could have waited till this week since we're spreading out our gifts, but that was the only chance I'd have to shop ALONE. I stopped at Target to get batteries for Tyler's stocking, and film. And earrings for Halle's stocking. And candy for the stockings. But then I bought sunglasses for each of them. And a movie to be a New Year's Eve gift. And a footed bowl candle holder... I was actually looking for a chalice for our table but 'real' ones are quite expensive. This one is glass (easier to clean), is the perfect size, and was only $9.99. Unfortunately, I still spent about $100. I'm hopeless... I should never have gone in there.

When we were grocery shopping on Friday early afternoon, we saw these porceilain dolls that were 50% off from $24.99... Halle was practically hyperventilating. They not only had a black doll, they had two wearing different dresses. I love porceilain dolls and the girls have a few... but they're hard to come by. I couldn't get back before the store closed at 6PM, and of course I had totally hinted that maybe santa would bring them each a doll. I was not feeling motivated at all; we usually watch a sunset to observe the solstice or attend UU services, but about 4:30 I decided we weren't going to do anything. I read, and tidied around the house, and eventually we went to McDonald's drive thru because I'd forgotten about cookies and all the stores were closed by then. We went home the girls took baths, and we watched Christmas cartoons on cable until they passed out. I put together the scooters and filled the stockings. I tried to carry Halle to bed but she was crying hysterically to see Santa, so I let her sleep in the living room. She came back into my room at some point, going right past the scooters without seeing them. When we woke up around 7AM, she asked me if it had snowed LOL. Then we went to check for Santa's visit. The girls both loved the scooters and their stockings... I put Halle's earrings in a jewel box and it was so cute to see her slowly open it and squeal. I hoped she would forget about the dolls but a few hours later she commented that Santa hadn't brought her doll. :( I made up an errand and went and got them as the store was open for a few hours Christmas Day. Daija was down for a nap, and Halle fell asleep watching a movie while I was gone... so I snuck the dolls under their stockings and didn't say boo about them. Halle spotted them after she woke up, but it took a while (Crystal and I were both dying). She figures Santa forgot them the first time around. ;) Ei, it must be an 8/31 thing too because that night at dinner Halle was talking about believing in Santa and Santa believing in you.

Then Saturday night we started our new tradition... honestly I feel a little fake doing Kwanzaa. I wouldn't if Ro or Joel celebrated the holiday, but (culturally speaking) Joel is darn near as white as I am and Ro has absolutely no interest in celebrating it. I've just always questioned my ability to 'officiate' that ceremony authentically, without denigrating it. So when Ei forwarded me an email about something called 'Chalica', I was enthralled. UU has seven principles, and someone somewhere suggested taking a week in December to really focus on our seven principles and what they mean. Like the world really needs another candle lighting holiday/light festival in December (Hanukah, kwanzaa, solstice, christmas, new year), but it's wearing sometimes trying to adapt the traditions of other cultures or faiths to be meaningful to us in ours. So Christmas night, we light a candle in our chalice for the first time for our first principle, and talked about what that principal meant, and what it meant to us and how we 'live' it. I'd bought seven gifts for Kwanzaa anyway, so we were all prepared. The girls each opened one gift the first night, and a second gift last night. The first night was great... I'm letting them choose their own gift from under the tree each night. The first night, Halle chose the package with he 4-ever Best Friends, so I gave Daija her beauty set. Halle was over the moon with her gift, and Daija loved hers too. They played with them all night and most of yesterday. There was minimal mess to clean up, and no overwhelmed, worked up kids with too much stimulation. Then when it was time to choose a gift yesterday afternoon, I was so glad I decided to scale back this year. Halle has such a case of the gimmies. She chose her gift and one for Daija... it turned out to be the book of tangrams for her and a puzzle for Daija. Well, Daija loved the Care Bear Puzzle, but Halle burst into tears. Despite the fact that she loves the tangram set that the school psychologist loaned me last year for Tyler, this gift just wasn't good enough. I explained to Halle that I chose that gift because we really need to give the school back their tangrams, and I know how much she loves them. I told her that I bought her that gift because I thought she would really enjoy it, and that it was very kind of me to do so, and her rudeness was hurting my feelings. I told her that when someone does something kind for you and gives you a gift, you have to use manners even if you don't care for the gift. I insisted that she say thank you, and then I told her I would put the book away and while she thought things over. If she changed her mind about it, I would get it for her, but if she decided she did not want the gift, we could donate it to someone who maybe had never been lucky enough to play with tangrams. Either way I am fine with what she chooses - she will either learn to appreciate a kind gesture, or she will learn to give to those less fortunate. After we ate dinner and lit our chalice for the second principle, we took the zoolights passes 'Santa' left in their stockings and went to zoolights. We really had a wonderful time. The moon was full and it was a little overcast, so kinda hazy. I took a couple pictures of it that I pray turn out. On the way home, Halle told me, that she was thinking about 'the game'. I asked her if she'd decided she wanted to use it, and she said, "I'm still thinking"... and that warmed my heart to know she is really giving the situation thoughtful consideration. I hope she learns what I'm trying to teach with this... that it's the thought behind the gift, and not the glitter that makes it special.

Phoenix Winter Wonderland

OK, for those of you in bad weather, I swear I'm not trying to rub it in... I just thought this was really cute!

Phoenix Winter Wonderland

Palm tress wave, are you listenin'?
In
the pool, water's glistenin'.
A beautiful sight, we're happy
tonight,
Livin' in a Phoenix Wonderland.
Gone away is the
blizzard,
here to stay is the lizard
A warm sunny day, we like it that
way
Living' in a Phoenix Wonderland.
In the desert we will have a
picnic,
cactus sand and rattlesnakes and sun.
Christmas dinner is an old
tradition,
It's pinto beans and tacos by the ton.
Later on we'll
perspire,
temperatures rise even higher.
A warm sunny day, we like it that
wayLiving' in a Phoenix Wonderland.

A reconcilliation?

I almost don't know where to start with this one, so I guess I'll just spit out the short version. Ro wants us to get back together. At first, I thought he was yanking my chain. Then, when I realized he was completely serious, I figured it really had more to do with the girls than with me. He is adamant that isn't so; yes, he misses them but he also misses me and'little talking Tyler'. He misses everybody. He thinks we can work out anything if we compromise. Needless to say I was pretty much completely thrown for a loop by this. When I left him last year I never anticipated us getting back together; I believed that what I valued and considered a priority and what he valued and considered a priority were too different. Over the last year the dynamics of his relationship with the kids has changed a lot, and there have been other changes that I didn't give much thought to before now. We had several long talks about his issue with me, my issues with him, and our respective priorities and what he wants and what I want. I have mixed feelings; on the one hand, leaving him was the hardest thing I ever did because I thought I would never be with anyone else. Our relationship and our family is all I ever wanted. Part of me thinks I have to at least consider the possibility of us working things out, and the other part of me wonders if I'd just be moving backwards. I know there are a few people who think I'd be out of my mind to get back together with him... and a few people who think it wouldn't be me moving backwards, but us moving forwards. I agreed last week to date him. Which is funny to me, because we never dated in the first place. I still wonder, if I'm not just a little crazy.

My *new* most embarassing moment... EVER.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving I experienced what I may think may go down on record as being the most utterly humiliating moment of my life. Background: Toya, my best friends niece, has two kids that go to MLK and one that goes to the daycare Daija goes to. Apparently, a woman dropping off her grandson fell out of her car and had a heart attack in the parking lot that morning, and Toya was there dropping off her kids at the time. I picked up Daija first Wednesday night and Toya asked me if I knew anything about it because she was really worried about the family. I know a lot of people at the school so I told her I'd see what I could find out, and headed over tothe school to get Tyler & Halle. Now, by the time I get to the school, usually the only people there are the custodial staff since the office closes at 4PM. So I see one of the custodians and asked him about it. We talked a little about getting ready for the holiday and a little about how unfortunate that family situation was, etc. The kids saw me pull up and came over and just as they were walking up, he commented 'I never see your husband.' I was kinda taken by surprise, and replied 'No, you probably wouldn't.' He asked, 'Why is that?' and I just looked at him, and he said 'Oh, you're not married' and something about my ring, which I didn't really think looked like a wedding band but I guess these days it's hard to tell. But I digress... I of course there is this huge pregnant pause; I didn't know what to say in response to that. And in this huge, pregnant pause, my daughter, the one I should have chloroformed at birth, opened her sweet, angelic mouth and said with a giggle, 'you two look like you're in love.' And I felt my face turn purple and after a moment of stunned silence he asked, 'what did she say?' and I announced it was time for us to go and just started walking. Halle had already turned her attention to arguing with her brother and in this cacophony of noise, he tried to ask me if we could talk sometime and I just nodded like the village idiot. And a week or so later he did ask for my number. He's a nice guy but he's in his early twenties. (sigh) He told me right before my birthday he was dying to spend some time with me. I told him that what didn't kill him would make him stronger. He's sweet, but I just don't see anything coming of it. I feel kinda bad now because I don't know how to tell him I'm just not interested. If he was five years older, I would probably go out with him, but the difference between 31 with three kids, a dog and a mortgage and 23 with no responsibilities to anyone other than yourself is just too much of a stretch.

Look what the cat dragged in, Part 2

OK, volume one was the past six/eight weeks... this one is more about right now. I'm checking out Valley UU and there are a lot of things I really like about it. UUCP is in a very wealthy area and has way more empty nesters and seniors than families... VUU is in a suburb and so there are a lot more families. They have a much stronger RE program and I met with the Directorof RE and really liked her and where she wants to go with it. The congregation as a whole is a little more diverse than the one at UUCP, which is good. But I'm still feeling it out - I've been to four services. I really liked the first three, but had mixed feelings about this last Sunday.I think the Christmas Eve service may be a deciding factor.

Halle has blossomed from reading sight words to reading 'easy readers' independently. She still objects to new books, but once she's gone through a book once she likes to read it over and over. I've seen her take a couple level 2 Barbie readers that I had bought for her, when Tyler was in level 2s o he could read to her... she adds 'contextual' words whenever she hits something she can't sound out and she's pretty good at keeping with the story line. Joel flew in last Wednesday and he & Tyler left on Thursday morning.They'll be back on 12/29. Santa will come at Solstice (Christmas) and we'll start Kwanzaa on 12/26 and just let Tyler catch up after he gets here. But our family gift exchange we'll do on 12/31 at Karamu (the traditional Kwanzaa feast). I'm looking forward to finally doing Kwanzaa.

I'm reallys truggling with Tyler's meds; it's normal to have to titrate up several levels to find the most effective dose, but his appetite has just plummeted and he's been expressing some really anxious thoughts about how his peersperceive him. I've talked to his teacher and the staff at his after school program and they all say that Tyler is not having problems with the other kids. When I go to pick Tyler up he is always playing with other kids(basketball, kickball, football, board games, etc), but to hear Tyler tell it he is ostracized. I made an appointment for 1/3 with our pdoc. I'm hoping she will be on board with what I want to try; if she's not I'm going to have to find either a psychiatrist who can handle Rx's, or as a worstcase scenario, I may have to find another pediatrician for Tyler who specializes in children with ADHD. I've been trying to find psychiatrist (not a psychologist or therapist) within a reasonable distance from my home and I'm not having much luck. I really like Dr. S and I think she's a great (general) pediatrician, but neurological disorders aren't her specialty and she may not have the 'right' experience for Tyler. I'm praying it won't come to that and if she doesn't feel comfortable with my suggestion, I'll be able to find a good psychiatrist who has the experience to do it.

Yesterday morning I gave Daija one of her presents: a doll that only potty's when she sits on her potty seat. Halle was really coveting that doll so I decided to give it after Halle went to her winter rec program. She absolutely loved it and carted it all day. Then I took Daija to sears and got her 2yo portraits. I have a picture of Tyler and I from his 2yo portraits, so when Halle turned 2 I got hers too. So of course Daija and I had a picture taken together as well. She just loves the camera... the photographer said it seemed like her favorite thing in the world was to haveher picture taken and that she couldn't believe how well Daija was following her instructions to lay on her stomach, put her hand here, there, etc. I think I may see a runway in this one's future, especially after the pdoc's comments.

Then we went to my doctor to talk about my issues... some of which I was having last year when I saw him. Mostly that I think I am undiagnosed add.I have a handle on a lot of stuff I could never keep up with at home, but I'm still struggling at work with the portions of my job that are on the'boring' side. I really excel at the things that are crisis level, but the ongoing projects don't get the attention they need. He ordered some labwork to rule out anemia and thyroid stuff (again, but we did that lastyear), and for me to go be screened for add as well as depression. I went through a really rough spot in November, but I really don't think I'm depressed. I guess I'll let someone else make that call though.

Then after lunch it was off to Daija's 2yo well check. Dr. S and I talked for a long time about Daija's attitude... I've never had a hitter before and frankly I'm not sure what to do about it. Dr. S said everything we are doing is 'right', and gave a couple other suggestions; we may have to just ride out the phase. I told Dr. S that I feel like Daija's hitting has a lot to do with her being frustrated because she doesn't communicate well... that her 'actions' seem so much more advanced than her speech. I gave her some examples; if I'm in the kitchen and she's hungry, she will go to the cabinet and get three kids' plates or bowls from the cabinet. She will get a glass of water by herself. She will get a stool to reach things. A few weeks ago Daija was on a stool playing in the sink, dumped suds on the floor and said 'Uh, oh, mama, make a mess' and got a sponge to wipe it up. Dr. S said wow,that's five words... we expect an average 2yo to be using 2 word sentences.She was watching Daija put on her boots, and said it was really impressive that she had the coordination/dexterity to put them on herself, and even got them on the right feet. She said that I might have another Tyler on my hands in terms of intelligence. {sigh}. But Daija is 26 lbs, 6 oz, and 36!!! inches tall. She's still 50th % in weight, but is between the 90th &95th %iles in height. Dr. S says if she's stays on this trend, she'll probably be about 5'10". Model material ;)

Look what the cat dragged in, Part 1

I have recovered from my post election November blah's and December is winding down... so if nobody minds I think I'll be back to pester you guys. I went to my last Christmas party last week. Daija's birthday was yesterday... all the shopping is done for Solstice and Kwanzaa except stocking stuffers and a gift cert for my sis. Although, just to make things fun, I'm planning our
First Annual New Year Open House on Jan 1. I sent out our holiday cards, so I hope you guys receive them before the holidays.

So, how quickly can I recap? Earlier this year I began to feel like my congregation (UUCP) just didn't meet the needs of my family, or families in general for that matter. Last March, I had been thinking about checking into another UU that is about the same distance from where I live now as the one I had been attending, but then I met Mike. He was just joining the church (VUU) and finding his space there so I decided not to do anything. I hadn't been to church since May but since our ministers take summers off I didn't really feel the impact until services would have resumed. I was missing the UU community, but knew I didn't want to go back to UUCP. I was
kinda stewing over the fact that I was stuck with no church because no way could I go to the other one and risk seeing Mike. I had a bells and whistles moment and realized I needed to be there for a particular service and told him I was going to invade his church space (this was mid-Nov). Turns out he wasn't attending all that regularly anyway because of his schedule, but he acted like the possibility of me attending there was the best idea he'd ever heard. That conversation led to a realization that although he had respected my wishes that he not call me, I was getting a lot of mixed messages from him. He was emailing me more often than warranted
(usually once a week) and seemed to want more of my friendship than I was prepared to give so soon after a painful breakup. We had been broken up for well over two months and it still felt like it had just happened. I was fine if I was busy, but once it was time to lay down, or if I was alone in my car with my thoughts, I would cry more often than not. So in the midst of this mental crisis I was having I realized that I was avoiding dealing with this grief, and that he might be doing some avoidance of his own in regards to his expectations being very idealistic. I felt and I needed to acknowledge it and face him. I called him and asked if we could talk, either directly over the phone or in person, because we were both avoiding dealing with some things and neither of us doing all that well with the break up. That was a Thursday, and to my surprise he suggested we get together Saturday. Then Friday he cancelled and asked if we could reschedule for a week or two later due to finals for his classes. He has continued to email me but has made no mention of us talking and determining, realistically, what kind of relationship we could honestly have with each other. He seeks me out, but unless we are talking about ME, MY work, MY kids, MY family, the conversation just dies. Last Friday I told him that I didn't see why he continued to contact me; he isn't open or communicative with me and because of that I don't feel comfortable being open with him, and that it's just not much of a friendship. He emailed me back and said
that he understood and I am right. I'm not sure exactly what that means. I know I'm right... I'm always right. Almost, anyways. But regardless, I felt better about the situation with him from the point I hung up the phone from asking him if we could talk and I haven't cried since. I realized that although I do/did care very deeply for him, it was the comfort of the relationship I was grieving as much, if not more, as losing his presence in my life. I was disappointed, but not crushed the next day when he asked to reschedule. While I'm not thrilled that he never followed up with it, the fact that we still haven't talked really doesn't bother me that much. I guess I feel like I'm finally 'over it'... and for he and I to talk now would just involve me going back to a place I don't want to revisit. I think Mike is still a phenomenal person and care a great deal about him, but his inability to open up to others or to deal with emotional issues will not make it possible for us to be friends. At best, we can be two people who parted on friendly terms. Right now I'm trying to figure out a way to tell him this as kindly as possible. He's out of town until 12/28, so I have a little time...

My little man is off for the holidays...

Tyler wrote a note this morning:

Dear Family,

I'll miss you while I'm gone.

Full House...

Ro is planning on going to England next week, and called Monday afternoon and said he'd keep Daija for the rest of the week. Which is nice for Daija, and good timing - I just spent the equivalent of my van payment on this radiator issue I was having. It shaves a little time off my commute too. So he's staying at my house this week. Joel called at 7:30 to let me know he's on his way to Raleigh. He usually tries to take the red eye right back out, but there isn't a red eye on Wednesday nights. If he gets on this flight, he'll stay the night at my place and fly back out in the morning. Which should make for an interesting evening at the Whitmore house... two baby daddy's under the same roof.

VUU

I have been to VUU three times now, twice with the kids, who seem to be enjoying it. I like it as well. I haven't seen Mike there, although he did ask me how it was going and if I was still considering attending. I told him considering was a good word, I hadn't made a firm decision yet. I won't be going this weekend because this party goes quite late. I think I'm going to continue to attend when I can through the holidays and continue to see how it fits. They do have a Thanksgiving potluck on thanksgiving, which really appeals to me if we do stay there. I love big group dinners at thanksgiving. And they have a special children's service on Christmas Eve, whereas at UUCP, it's more of an adult service with a little 'children's moment' thrown in.

Hyperactivity disorder tied to brain irregularities

Monday, November 29, 2004 Posted: 12:38 PM EST (1738 GMT)
CHICAGO, Illinois (Reuters) –
Brain scans of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder show abnormalities in the fiber pathways along which brain signals pass, scientists said Monday. The finding indicates the disorder may be more than just a chemical imbalance, they added. Using an imaging technique called diffusion tensor imaging, researchers found subtle anatomical differences in children diagnosed with ADHD that may affect communication between key areas of the brain -- the frontal cortex, basal ganglia, brain stem and cerebellum. "These areas are involved in the process that regulate attention, impulsive behavior, motor activity and inhibition -- the key symptoms in ADHD children," said lead researcher Manzar Ashtari, an associate professor of radiology and psychiatry at North Shore-Long Island Jewish Health System in New Hyde Park, New York. In another study, Ashtari found the brain irregularities diminished in children who had been medicated with stimulant drugs for an average of 2 1/2 years. "The findings ... indicate that the therapeutic effect of stimulants may involve a brain normalization process," said co-researcher Sanjiv Kumra, a psychiatrist at Zucker Hillside Hospital in Glen Oaks, New York. "Typically, ADHD is described as a chemical imbalance, but our research has shown that there may also be subtle anatomical differences in areas of the brain that are important in this disorder," Kumra said. Between 3 percent and 5 percent of American children are diagnosed with ADHD. Millions take stimulants to counteract the behavior, which can be disruptive both at home and in school and can lead to problems later in life. The research was presented at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America.

VENT: Phoenix Zoo Field Trip/Assignment

So Halle brought home this social studies project she has to complete to go on referenced field trip. I looked at the cover sheet and first page last week, and it looked simple enough... asked her to draw a picture. We've been swamped at home and I never got back to it, until last night. It's due Wednesday, and we should have worked on it over the weekend but it slipped my mind. Anyway, I go through it last night and was pretty irate. The cover sheet indicates she would need minimal assistance... but she's supposed to list things she wants to see at the zoo, what books she's read about the zoo, if she hasn't what books she'd like to read, what animals are found at the zoo, what are only on farms, explain what a reptile is and why the two new rhinos came to the zoo, and write two sentences about why she thinks they have their names. There are no resources included in this assignment (as in, details about the rhinos, lists of books, a worksheet with pictures of animals where she is supposed to circle the ones found in the zoo). It is an essay style assignment and this has to be done all in her own handwriting. Tyler would need 'minimal' assistance with this assignment; Halle will need 'considerable' assistance.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Whitmore, Cynthia
> Subject: Phoenix Zoo Field Trip/Assignment

> Halle will not be turning in her zoo field trip assignment on Wednesday.
> My support person is on her second week of vacation and I have had to
> bring work home several nights, in addition to preparing for our holiday
> celebration, and simply do not have time right now for homework that
> requires much more than what I would consider minimal assistance. Please
> accept my apologies as I can't find a better way to express this, but I do
> not consider this a homework assignment for Halle. Basically, it's a
> homework assignment for me. While she is more than capable of drawing the
> three pictures independently, there is little else on the assignment that
> either won't be spelling out for her, or writing for her so she can copy
> it. This assignment is on par with the work that Tyler brings home, and I
> find it a bit much for a five year old who spells and reads only sight
> words, and does not yet write sentences or surf the internet, to be
> expected to manage without considerable help. I will be able to review
> this assignment with her over the holiday weekend, however, I may not have
> the time to stand over her shoulder and dictate animals, book titles,
> sentences, and theories about animal names to her, and much of the
> assignment may be done orally. I understand that probably will not count
> toward her grade, and am willing to accept that. I also understand that
> you may exclude her from the field trip for not completing the assignment.
> I have explained to her that I will take her at another time, since it is
> really my failure to have adequate time to do this assignment, not hers.
> Also, I find some of the questions confusing and am hoping you can
> elaborate. There are, to my knowledge, no animals at the Phoenix Zoo that
> are only found at the zoo. While many are endangered, they can all be
> found in the wild, and Halle is aware of this. There are also a number of
> farm animals at the zoo, and since we have a membership to the zoo, Halle
> is also aware of that... so should we answer that question differentiating
> between the main zoo and Harmony Farm, or answer that question with names
> of farm animals that are not specific to this zoo? Also, in the question
> about what books Halle has read, I am unsure if the question is about the
> Phoenix Zoo specifically since Zoo is capitalized in the sentence which
> indicates a proper name, or what books has she read about a (generic) zoo.
> Regardless, this is going to require more research on my part... to hunt
> down several book titles/authors and descriptions for her to choose from,
> or to try and find the title of the book she has read. I haven't been
> able to find the one I thought we had; I believe it was donated.
> Thanks in advance for helping clear up my confusion.

Our Weekend

We made it to Raleigh and had a really good visit. It's very pretty there... and the weather was nice. About 10 degrees cooler, but still nice enough for the kids to go outside and play. Steph's husband, Keith, kept commenting how small it is. I know it's a capital and everything, but it seemed really rural to me too. I guess because there were so many trees it was hard to see much else ;) Most of the office buildings I saw were in two story, house like buildings. We went out for tempenyaki (sp?) Saturday, which the kids all loved. Daija kept sharing her (bitten into) food with the couple sitting on the other side of her. The lady was a champ - took it totally in stride and held out her hand for every morsel Daija offered her. I was quite relieved however, that she didn't actually eat any of it.

Queenie Mama for President

Tyler and I were just talking, and he said that if he could vote, he would vote for whoever was losing (my baby is so sensitive). I said that no matter what, he should always vote for the person who will do the best job for the country. Halle swung around in surprise, and said 'mommy, you're the best one for the job', like Tyler and I were stupid for not having figure that out. Who wants to be my running mate? Sorry, Gabe, but Abe Lincoln, watch out. Halle just nominated her momma.

Election Day

I went, got there around 7:30/7:40 and there was a small line but I didn't wait very long before a booth opened up. I spent a good amount of time reading up on local propositions, and I was really proud that I felt like I made informed votes on all of those. My boss was in line for a really long time though, but she lives in a white, upper middle class/upper class area... average age 40, average household income probably 3/4x mine. I was busy busy busy yesterday edumacating myself on all my local propositions. There were a couple that were really hot items 'round here... a lot of finger pointing and drama about what the end results of these props would really be and two that had one side accusing the opposite side of misleading the public. And of course the other ones no one knew anything about cuz all anyone talked about were props 200 & 400. So I did a little bit of researchin', and when I stopped on my way to work to get my little 'I VOTED TODAY' sticker.

Halloween

I wish 'Halloween' would be moved and simply celebrated the last Saturday of October. I'm sure my children are just gems in school today after last night. We went to Enchanted Island Amusement Park like we usually do. We did that for a little over an hour then headed home in hopes of t/t'ing for a little while. I think next year we need to t/t first, then go to Encanto. The party is from 5PM until 9PM, and I noticed that after 6PM, the loooong line for ride bracelets disappeared. By the time we got home around 7:30PM, about half the porch lights were out, so we only went to about six houses before the 'unofficial' end of t/t'ing at 8PM. The kids had a great time; we talked in advance about leaving the park and Tyler did AWESOME; when I said it was time to go, he said 'OK'. Halle pouted for about a second. Daija had mixed feelings about the event. She looked very serious during all the rides she went on, but pitched a fit every time I took her off a ride. She just didn't get that she was going to get on a different one in minute. I was laughing at myself, shoving her into her stroller as she kicked and screamed, then digging frantically for a piece of candy to placate her until the next ride. What a model of parenting skill. But she just LOVED t/t'ing. She was sooo cute; she was not shy at all about walking up to doors and holding out her candy bag. Of course Tyler and Halle would get to the door first, and then after she got her candy she would race after them as fast as her tiny little legs would carry her. Her costume was hooded, and bulky, so her balance was a little off and she didn't have much peripheral vision. She would be running along and at the corner where the sidewalks would meet the driveway, every single time she stepped off the pavement into the grass with one foot, and went tumbling. She never made a whimper though... tolerated me picking her up, then shoved me off so she could retrieve her bag, and she was running again, just as fast as her little legs would go. I tried to teach the kids how to sing 'Trick or Treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat'. I have clearly spent too much time lecturing them about manners. Tyler was pretty tentative singing it, and Halle got mad at him every time he said it. He'd sing it, and she's say 'Ty-LER' through gritted teeth. I never did get Daija to say trick or treat, but she did say 'day-doo' (thank you) at the last house.

I just printed off a bunch of info about all these different propositions for the election tomorrow... man, this requires way too much brain power.

Magic Fog & Sky Spit

This morning there was this thick, heavy fog, which Halle has never seen before. It was so thick that I could only see about two houses ahead of me while driving this morning. She asked where it came from; I told her it was magic here for Halloween. Her eyes got sooo big. Which reminds me of when it rained last week; Daija doesn't really remember the last time it rained. We were outside and some drops fell on her face, and she kept saying 'eeeewwww' and wiping her face; I think she thought she was getting spit on :)

yikes...

I only have until Friday or Saturday to do my benefits changes. I just sat down and estimated, what my contacts and Halle & Tyler's Rx's and well visits for all of us are going to cost me next year, taking into consideration the increases in my copays and that Tyler's pediatrician thinks his vision is about 20/30 and he's probably going to need glasses soon, how much money I need to put in my medical TFSA. (sigh) $800.

Hell, again...

I had to talk to Halle's teacher yesterday and give her a heads up that one of Halle's friends from class told her that if Halle went trick or treating, she would 'go down to the devil'. Well, I wasn't thrilled by it because Halle gets upset any time she and Hasani have a disagreement, but I know it wasn't said out of malice. I know the little girl very well and she is a sweet little soul. She always runs up and hugs me whenever she sees me and on Monday told me that she wishes I was her mother. I've met her parents, and they are also lovely people. They obviously don't celebrate Halloween, and I'm sure that they've had to try to explain to their little girl why she doesn't get to dress up or go Trick or Treat, and their reasoning is probably that they believe it is Satanic or otherwise sinful in nature, that God wouldn't like it, etc. She's just repeating what her parents believe, but she's still at an age where everything is either black or white - good or bad - right or wrong. I only brought it up to her teacher because Halle may choose to disclose her version of what we discussed if the subject comes up again at school. I wanted her teacher to be aware of what was going on in case Hasani's parents call with any concerns that Halle told Hasani something that is contradictory to their religious beliefs.

Huffing

So I took a plunge from one of the skyscraper high diving boards of parenting today and talked to Tyler (and Halle) about huffing. I've been dreading having to do this for so long... you just never want to have to be the one to tell your kids about the bad stuff. But if he doesn't hear about it from me first... I don't want to think about where and how he'll learn it. He'll be in Jr. High next year. He knows that drugs are bad, and says all the time that he won't do them... he understands that there are legal and illegal drugs, etc. But huffing is something he might not understand is a 'drug.' I've been getting these newsletters from www.theantidrug.com (that's me, btw, in case y'all haven't heard the PSA's), and today there was a link to a newspaper article about a couple boys in Michigan that died (Second Bay City teen dies after 'huffing' accident). I took it home and had him read it, and we talked about what it means to get high... he thought it meant get taller. Can you just imagine, my little baby who is always complaining about being short and wanting to grow, being offered a way to 'get tall?' He'd sign right up. So I explained that sometimes people use drugs to get high, and it's kinda like people using alcohol to get drunk. And I told him how I hope it never happens, but that some time someone might ask him to get high by breathing some fumes, or smoking something, or taking a pill, or sniffing something into his nose, or injecting something in his arm with a needle. I told him how sometimes kids think that it's not dangerous to breathe in fumes from paint or gas because you can buy it at the store, but that it's still really dangerous... it makes you do stupid things like light cigarettes by gas and cause fires, and the chemicals can hurt your body so bad that you can be sitting at home and just fall over dead, even if you're only 14 years old, or 12 years old, or 10, or 8. I told him that getting high can make you hurt people, and steal from people, even people you love like your family. I told him how if a woman is pregnant and does drugs it can hurt her baby so bad the baby can die, or be born with something wrong with it's body, or with brain damage that would make it hard for the baby to learn in school. He wanted to know how I learned so much about drugs, so I told him my introduction to the concept (Elvis) and then he looked at me like I was stupid and commented, 'you know I'm going to think about this tonight when I'm trying to go to sleep' and I told him I wished I never had to ever tell him anything scary or bad, but that I have to make sure he understands how dangerous huffing is. But he's sleeping sweetly now, so hopefully 'Pirates Past Noon' was what he was thinking of after I turned out the light

Halle Update

Halle's still writing her morning message every day... and last week she got 100%'s on both her spelling and math tests. I guess only one of the other 2 kids in her class got 100 on the math. My baby girl is smart :)