REAL FEET!!!

OK, of all the things I could be really stoked about, Mattel is making a Barbie™ with REAL FEET. As in, a size proportionate to a real person. With normal arches. And toes. You don’t believe me? Check out the Cali Girl™ Friends. It gets better. It may be my imagination or some wishful thinking, but Cali Girl’s hips seem a little wider than Barbie’s. And her chest… a tad smaller. Her thighs are still anorexic, but overall, the body shape is an improvement. And the very bestest, bestest part? They’re starting to make the dolls so that they look like there is actually some racial and ethnic diversity. Christie, the ‘Black Barbie’, actually has curly textured hair. Summer, who could be a number of ethnicities with her caramel tan, also has curly (not wavy) hair. I think I just rediscovered my childhood passion!

The kids had gift certificates for Target and Wal-Mart and I think I have the three happiest kids on earth tonight. Tyler and Halle especially loved picking our their own stuff!!! Mattel made a killing off Halle. She started off with the Christie Cali Girl and a My Little Pony toy set. She and I were so enchanted with Christie’s curly hair and painted toenails that when we went to Wal-Mart, she passed right by the dreaded Bratz section. First time in over a year she hasn’t begged me for a doll. She picked out the Barbie Cali Girl® (who unfortunately does have the feet that look like they were bound and then stuffed into nine inch high heels and left there for the last five decades) and the 4x4 Beach Car®. We also got the Riding Club Summer® and Lea® dolls. She’s been playing with them all night. Daija loved Halle’s My Little Pony so much that I got her a Cabbage Patch Pony. She also got two sets of ‘fake food’ and a set of dishes. She’s fed her dolls everything from grapes to hot dogs to cookies. She also got a Bear in the Big Blue House DVD that has several shows on using the toilet… I put that on continuous play as soon as we got home. Tyler picked out a set of Spy Vision Goggles, and of course with his larger gift cert, he headed straight for electronics. Picked up some batteries for the goggles, a set of ear buds, and Tak 2: The Staff of Dreams®, which seems like a pretty cool game. I tried to access a really detailed description since the one on the box was pretty sketchy and I like to know what exactly he’s doing… but I got blocked by my own firewall!!!

Nana Update

Finally, I have an update! My grandmother has emphysema, which we knew. She started breathing better as soon as they got her on oxygen; my mom said something about keeping an oxygen tank with her. I don't know if that was actually a suggestion from her doctor or my mother just thinking it sounds like a good idea. Her blood pressure is a little high, as is her cholesterol. There is also fat in her liver. She likes to go out every morning for coffee and breakfast at 'home style' restaurants... Denny's, Coco's, or any similar greasy spoon Mom & Pop joint. She frequently eats lunch at the same kind of place. I've been griping at her about it for years. So that's finally catching up with her. Now, the dark spot on the CT scan - it's not on her lung, as they thought, it's an aneurism on her right aorta. She also has an irregular heartbeat. I'm not sure if this is new, or if she just didn't tell anyone. They have her on a new med for the irregular beat and back on a blood thinner again. She'll need to see her primary doc every three-six months to have that aneurism monitored.

No details on why they want to ultrasound her stomach, but I think it may have something to do with the fact that she had a major intestinal blockage not long ago (she was hospitalized for that too). She's stubborn as anything so I don't imagine she's done much to improve her diet since that little escapade.

Oooh, DRAMA.

There was a little drama in Tyler's class today. Apparently one of the children, J., told Ms. Librarian to shut up. I was floored to hear that. But that's just where the drama started. Apparently two of the girls, afterwards, were making a list of the 'bad kids' for Ms. Teacher (they had a sub), and included J's name. J. went to erase his name and T., who Tyler lists as a 'best friend' said something to him, and apparently J. pushed her. Mr. Substitute witnessed this, and apparently J. ran out of the classroom but came right back. When J. came back, Tyler, who tends to be overprotective when it comes to girls, he told J. that he was going to tell on him. J. flipped him off and called him a f***er. Tyler then proceeded to write a note to Mrs. Teacher.

Dear Ms. Teacher,
J. pushed T.! He ran out of the classroom! He said fuk to me! He told Ms. Librarian to shut up to! If you give him refurl, I would be so thankful!

Your student,

Tyler

I am just more floored by the minute. I'm trying to peice this all together and Ms. Librarian heard what J. said. Mr. Substitute saw what J. did. While what J. did both in the library and the classroom was very wrong, Tyler inflamed the situation and diverted some wrath to himself. Tyler tends to be sensitive, but apparently no one came to his defense when J. made the rude comment; they just all made the 'ooooh' sound, but not 'oooh', like J. did something bad, 'oooh ' like 'he told you'. I tried to explain to Tyler that while J. was definitely in the wrong, and it was good of Tyler to want to stand up for T., there is a difference between telling and tattling. The grown ups in charge already were handling the situation, and to threaten to tell on J. when he was already upset, was not necessary. It would be appropriate for him to have told the adult in charge if no one saw J. push T., but that since the adults already had J.'s actions under control, Tyler has no reason to get involved, as the staff will surely let Mrs. Teacher know what happened. We discussed how J. is normally a pretty nice kid who(as far as Tyler knows) has never been in trouble, never picked on anybody, never called anybody a name. We talked about how everyone has bad days and some examples of mistakes he's made when he was upset or angry. I asked him, how he would feel if he was having a really terrible day and made a BIG mistake that he was probably going to get into a lot of trouble for. Then I asked him how he would feel, in that situation, if someone he thought of as a friend, or at least had never had any problems with, was going to rat him out on top of that, even though he was already in a lot of trouble. I explained that threatening to tell on him at that point was totally unnecessary and very unkind. It's obvious he didn't understand that his actions weren't going to help the situation in any way shape or form; he seemed to think he was doing all the adults around him a favor by breaking it down for them. We talked about giving Mrs. Teacher the note as written. I told him he did not need to tell Mrs. Teacher about the library incident or the shoving. Neither happened to him, and the adults in charge already handled it. He still wanted to tell her about what J. said to him since Mr. Substitute hadn't heard that, and I asked him if he also planned to tell Mrs. Teacher about what he had done, that led to J. making the rude gesture and calling him a bad name. Tyler had been so full of righteous indignation, and he just cried. He told me that he feels like what everybody says he is (stupid, which is a whole 'notha story) and that he wishes he wasn't born. It broke my heart; I hate to see him hurting and I know he is probably feeling as out of step socially as I did (and still do half the time). I don't know if there was a better way I could have explained this to him. I asked him, if you write another note to Mrs. Teacher, do you think that it will make things better between you and J.? And he said no. I asked him if he wrote this letter to Mrs. Teacher, what did he want her to do with it? And he said 'nothing, really.' I asked him, 'Do you think J. should be in any more trouble than he already is?' and Tyler said no. I asked, 'Do you want J. to be punished for it?' and Tyler said 'Not really.' I told him that I thought the best thing for him, and for his friendship with J., would be to say, 'I'm sorry I said I was going to tell on you, and it really upset me when you called me a bad name.' Tyler said J. wouldn't listen. Apparently at some point J. apologized to T. for pushing her, but Tyler informed him that HE would not accept J.'s apology. I asked T. if maybe he just wanted to let it go and forgive it, even if J. didn't want to talk it out, since we know that J. is normally a pretty good kid who he has never had a problem with, and he said that's what he wanted to do.

I'm hoping he's feeling better about this now but I am still very worried.

Mojo, please.

Y'all know I don't ask for the good stuff real often, but if you can send something up to my Nana it would mean the world to me. My mom called this morning to tell me Steve (her husband) took my nana to the ER around 3AM this morning because either she couldn't breathe, or was having trouble breathing. There was a dark spot on her lung in one of the X-rays and they're sending her for a CT scan. I don't have a whole lot of details other than that; my mom is actually on the road right now so I'm getting third hand info from her.

I know it could be a lot of things... scar tissue from TB if she ever had that or maybe something left over from when she had pneumonia... but she's smoked for thirty or forty years now and is in her late 70's, so even if it wasn't something so terrible as lung cancer, at her age, anything can get serious real quickly. So whatever it is you do (hands and knees prayer, healing meditations, get nekkid and dance around a candle, you know, whatever)... think of her while you're doing it. I'd probably be a high school drop out living in a trailer park in kansas with seven kids on welfare right now if it wasn't for my nana.

Tyler's Dr. Appt

Today we met with Dr. Shoptaugh and discussed Tyler's sudden drop in appetite and what is probably rather minor bouts with being unable to fall asleep, as well as my big concern: He is beginning to express obessive or paranoid thoughts that no one likes him, that everyone picks on him, etc. He and I have talked it through, and I've also spoken with his teacher and the staff at his after school program, in addition to doing a little observation on my own. Tyler is far from ostracized, and no one else has noticed any kind of major conflict. When I talk through a situation, it often boils down to the fact that he had a relatively minor conflict with ONE individual, but to hear him tell it, his whole class ganged up on him. He also suddenly became fixated on a scary story he'd heard at his after school program in October, and came to me several nights because he was afraid to be in his room. He has never in his life been afraid of the dark, and although we reasoned out several times that 'RedRum' was just a spooky story, this lasted close to a week. Since Tyler is at a higher risk for depression and other mood disorders, I took that pretty seriously, especially when his dad reported no insomnia, fears, or problems with appetite over Tyler's (unmedicated) winter break.

Some good news first: Since July, Tyler has gained 1.5 pounds, which is a good gain in that time frame. Not huge, but substantial and he wasn't at a flatline or losing as I'd feared. Dr. Shoptaugh thinks that the eating/sleeping problems are definitely related to the Adderrall and scaled his Rx back from 20mg to 15mg. I talked to her about the (very preliminary) research I'd done on dopamine/norepinepherine balance/imbalance and coupling stimulent meds with a non stimulant, like Strattera. She was familiar with the practice, but said it was very, very new practice that still had kinks to be worked out (like everything else LOL). She said that out of 30 patients, she hasn't had one stay on strattera. She's also not sure that his obsessive thoughts/fears are definitely related to medication. She wants us to take Tyler to a behavioralist. She does want to work with us as far as balancing out these chemicals, she's just not sure strattera is going to be the solution, and that she wants to work in conjunction with someone who specializes in this area. I was once again so impressed with her as a medical professional; I wasn't sure she would be comfortable with the med combo since I know she's not a strattera advocate. I was really prepared to have my inquiry squashed and find myself back to trolling the listings for a psychiatrist. So even though she wasn't comfortable making that Rx, I definitely didn't feel like I was on my own.

Unfortunately, there are only two "behavioralists" ; Dr. Melmed of the Melmed Center (which I've heard of, they offer classes for parents, teachers, and kids in addition to counseling), or Dr. Kessler of the Arizona Child Study Center. Thankfully, Dr. Kessler is an in-network providor for my insurance. I've done a little reading and he's got a REALLY impressive bio, with special interests both in ADHD and nutrition. Now, I'm not sure if we'll actually see him, or someone in his practice... but I am so much more comfortable getting this referral than taking whatever random person my EAP would provide. I called this afternoon and it'll be a four-five month wait; Dr. Shoptaugh had said to expect three. So the school year may be close to over before he's seen by them. I have to fill out a packet about an inch thick before they'll even schedule the appointment, but I went and pickthed it up this afternoon and I'm already about half done.

Since I knew it would be a while trying to make do in the meantime, I gave his teacher a heads up and also spoke with the principal at his school. When we had the 504 meeting last year, the only accomodations we had written in were for testing, because he was doing so well. I noted a concern at the time if we ever reached a point Tyler can't take meds, we would have to revisit. His principal thanked me for letting her know what was going on and said she'd touch base with the school social worker about classroom accomodations. So I may be having another 504 meeting before too much longer. His teacher is a nice lady, but I don't really have a rapport of any kind with her and while I believe she's passionate about gifted education, I don't really get the impression she's incredibly in tune with Tyler. I don't think she'd be nearly as proactive in addressing his special needs as his 2nd grade teacher was, especially since she'll be going on maternity leave soon. Which is another worry; there are going to be a lot of changes in the classroom... she'll go on maternity leave sometime in February and then return just a few weeks before school lets out. I wonder how Tyler will handle those transitions, how a sub will handle Tyler, etc. I guess only time will tell.

I also made an appointment for myself with a therapist for next Tuesday.

Bug Spirits...

So tonight when Halle goes to change in her room, she discovers a 'black thing' on her wall. I check it out... it's a MOTH. I tell her not to worry about it... they're like butterflies (a bug Halle likes), just not pretty, and not too smart either. She's starting to panic, so I here I go, to get the Raid. Of course I spray the thing and he's flying around the room and Halle's practically hyperventilating. I had to send her to another room to change until he stopped flying around. Halle went to check things out, and came back to me and told me that his head was twitching, and imitated his poor little chemically induced seizures. Trying to instill some empathy, I say to her... He's close to dying and he really doesn't feel good. You should send up a prayer for his spirit.

Halle replies, firmly.... 'Uh uh. He's a bug.'

Wanna hear something ironic? We observed the last night of Chalica this evening, and we lit our chalice in 'Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.'

Happy New Year!!!

Happy 2005, everybody! I hope your new year is starting off well... ours is. After a laid back New Year's at home with the girls, we rang in 2005 with a party on New Year's Day. The girls had a great time with their old KidVentures playmates and I got a chance to catch up with friends, some of whom I hadn't seen since Halle's fourth birthday party! A good time was had by all. Then my little man made it home this morning, along with his dad, Joel. It's nice to have 'little talking Tyler', as Ro calls him, home again. Joel will be here for a day or two as the flights are atrocious this weekend.

Tonight we're having my mother, stepdad, and grandmother over for dinner and to exchange gifts. I am really looking forward to that... not just the joy of giving, but the joy of getting the rest of the stuff out from under the tree so that I can take down the holiday decorations!

Tomorrow is my day off in observance of the New Year, and Tyler has an early doctor's appointment. His appetite has really dropped off and I think we need to do a med change. I'm hoping to cut back or cut out the stimulants and try Strattera again, now that I have a better idea on how others handle the sleepy side effects. It will be nice for Joel to go to this appointment as well; it gets wearing to make these decisions alone. And he'll get to go to Tyler's school as well; I think if Joel is agreeable we'll have lunch there. Tyler doesn't really complain, but I know it must be hard to see other kids' dad's at school functions.

I'm also going to make an appointment tomorrow to see someone myself; I was doing some research last week and came across on article about a study that indicated ADHD children who have parents with untreated issues (ad/hd, depression, etc) do not respond as well to treatment. I've suspected for some time that I'm ADD, and at my physical last month my primary doc suggested I also be screened for depression. I don't think I'm depressed, but I'm going to look into it anyway.

Well, Daija has the water bottle I use on her and Halle's hair and has figured out how to squirt it, so I guess that means my blogging time is over. I'll post updates on Tyler's appointment and whatever progress I make for mine, sometime in the next week.