and the saga continues...

As you know, I told my sister on the 4th that I thought it would be better for her to just get a storage unit, it would be cheaper. I was surprised that she sounded upset, I expected her to be relieved to save between $100 and $150 and at the same time, get out of a 'lease agreement' for a room she obviously didn't want to live in. On the 5th, I called my mom to see how things were going. Mom tells me that Crystal is angry at her. Apparently Crystal wasn't going to call me at all, and mom told her she needed to before she got kicked out. So it was my mother's fault that she called me and was kicked out anyway. My head reeled! A) that she thought this was my mother's fault in any way, rather than a natural result of her behavior and b) she had been absent from the premesis for the majority of March and had made no effort to pay rent or make payment arrangements for the month of April. I didn't kick her out, she had left of her own accord three or four weeks prior! I just asked her to remove her abandoned property from my home. On Thursday, my sister calls to ask me if it will be OK if she comes next weekend (this coming weekend) to get her stuff. She won't have any money to get a storage unit until then, because her phone was shut off and she had to pay the bill to get it turned back on. I explained that it just didn't make sense for her to pay me rent when she could get a storage unit for far less, but that I understood and the following weekend would be fine. When I get home that night, Ro tells me that he was watching TV and heard something creaking. He muted the TV and heard it again. He got up to check it out, figuring it was the dog, and as he let the dog out, sees my sister slipping out the door with a basket of stuff. He said she didn't come back and say anything, so he didn't even attempt to address her. This of course just strengthened my resolve that she simply cannot continue to live here.

So I've been speaking with my mother regularly about my nana and I found out this Monday, that Crystal had not intended to call me to let me know she couldn't move her things last weekend, and that my mother insisted she call. Mom also tells me that Crystal, and my brother's girlfriend, are very unhappy about what they are going to be charged for room and board: $500. They say they can't afford it. This is when I found out that they are both working only part time, and neither are looking for full time jobs. And that my sister's car payment and insurance together are about $500 per month. AND, that she was suspended on the Friday BEFORE she bought the car. She had it all lined up, but hadn't signed any paperwork or put any money down. Knowing that was her third suspension for the same thing, she still went and bought the car. For some reason, she was convinced she would not be fired. Then, after she was fired, she made no effort to look for a job for weeks.

Someone 'splain this to me. She has $500 in expenses for her car (which astounds me, it's hardly bigger than a minute), she is only working part time. She told me on the 4th that she was planning on moving in the next 45 days, but was not planning at that point to live with my mother. I don't know where she thought she was going to live where her rent, utilities, and groceries would be less than what she paid living here or what she knew my mother was planning on charging our brother for living there. The mortgage at the house my mom and grandma just bought is twice mine, so even divided by more people the expenses are higher. And she knew what my mother had told my brother and his girlfriend rent would be, before the move and before she asked my mom if she could stay there 'for a little while,' which she didn't do until after I told her I wasn't interested in receiving her rent and would prefer she move. My mother told my brother, his girlfriend, and my sister that their rent was due on the 25th of each month for the following month, and presented them each with a lease agreement. She also told them that if they do not pay the rent, they have 72 hours to leave. My sister, and I think my brother's girlfriend, refused to sign the lease, citing it too expensive. My brother has no problem with it, as this was discussed and agreed on prior to them moving into this house at the first of the month.

So, I'm thinking this: If Crystal gets paid on the 15th, and is only working part time, I doubt she can afford to pay $500 to my mother by the 25th (which is before her next payday), rent a storage unit, and cover her expenses for gas and whatever may come due for her vehicle between the 15th and 29th. I start wondering, now that I know she was planning on just not showing up last weekend and now that I know her financial situation, if she is just going to no-show this weekend because she doesn't want to tell me for a second time that she doesn't have money to move. Yesterday my mother called me about my grandmother, and I asked if Crystal was there/could I speak with her. She was asleep, and I heard her tell my mother she would call me back, but I didn't hear from her. I called my mother again yesterday to see if Crystal has said anything, or made any arrangements with my mom's husband, who has a truck and agreed to transport her stuff from my place to wherever but said he's not packing or moving a thing. My mother was under the firm impression that Crystal had called me later that morning before leaving for work. I tell her I think one of two things is going to happen. My sister is going to blow me off again and blame it on the outrageous rent my mother is making her pay, or she is going to tell my mother she can't pay rent because I 'kicked her out.' None of the issues will be related to the fact that she was fired from her job after she got yet another customer complaint, her third suspension. It won't have anything to do with the fact that she financed a vehicle when she should have KNOWN her employment was in serious jeapordy, or that she made no effort to find a job for weeks afterwards, or that she has taken a part time job and made no effort at finding full time employment. It won't have anything to do with the fact that she has been blatantly disrespectful to me or that her behavior has had a negative effect on Tyler and Halle. I told my mom that I really appreciated her insisting Crystal call me last week, but please don't say anything else to her about contacting me. I wouldn't have expected her to just no show then, but I'm aware it's a possibility now. I really want to see what she is going to do when left to her own devices. I already have ample grounds to legally declare that she has abandoned the residence and will be able to declare the same in regards to her property if she doesn't show this weekend. I can't have this dragging out forever, and it's clear that she has no sense of right or wrong and will continue to take advantage for as long as I let her.

"The base of all things is love, respect."
--Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo

The greatest weapon of any Spiritual Warrior is love. Love will change minds; love will forgive; love will let go; love will cause good luck; love will heal; love will cry; love will get rid of resentments; love will overcome fear. Love loves love. Any human who is loving will be guaranteed respect. Respect loves love. We need to love and respect ourselves.

Grandmother, Grandfather, today, lead me on the path of love.

"Once you make a friend, a friend never leaves you, even to death.

So a friend is really hard to find."
--Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

Once, an Elder told me he made a decision to be my friend. He said this friendship wasn't based on my behavior or how I acted; he said the friendship was based on his decision. He decided to be my friend. This friendship has happened like he said. Even if I don't see him for a long time, or if I get mad at him, he has never changed his decision. This is true friendship.

Great Spirit, I'm glad you are this kind of Friend.